Irony of ironies at Hipster Runoff

Not a photo of the pseudonymous Carles, author of Hipster Runoff

Perhaps, like me, you had heard of Hipster Runoff but never actually read it. The site is a sort of parody of mp3 blogs, but to describe it that way is like describing Andy Kaufman as a wrestling comedian. Hipster Runoff is written by Carles, a fictional character whose style is defined by A) relentless use of chat jargon and B) a proliferation of scare quotes, which he seems to put around any concept he does not feel totally comfortable with. Here’s Carles on the vexing question of what he calls bubblegum indie:

What if MGMT’s “KIDS” had come out in 2011? Would they be able to morph into an intriguing ‘indie’ buzzband. When analyzing their ‘success’ in the context of a bubblegum indie MP3 that propelled them to super-mindie stardom, it is easier to understand their ‘drastic change in direction’ for their second album, just to attempt to get rid of some of the entry-level fans who ‘liked’ them 4 the ‘wrong reasons.’

I guess really those are scare apostrophes, but you get the point. Irony of ironies, all is irony. Besides the hilarious conceit of wondering how everything might have been different if it happened, like, three years later, something is being expressed here. What Carles means by “bubblegum indie” is never clearly defined, and he winds up applying it to pretty much every popular-and-then-too-popular hipster jam of the decade. That’s his point. Hipster Runoff is a blog about the existential bugbear of hipsterism: authenticity.

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Meanwhile, inside Michele Bachmann’s head

Take my wife—please, make her bring an unwanted pregnancy to term.

Borrowing a strategy that has never backfired on a political figure in recent memory, Michele Bachmann opined last weekend that Hurricane Irene and the earthquake that hit DC were messages from an angry god. “I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians,” she told a campaign audience in Sarasota. “We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?'” According to Bachmann, the source of God’s anger was clear: out-of-control government spending. Also, a teenage girl in Dade County was wearing really short shorts, but mostly it was the budget deficit. God is a known fiscal conservative; still, certain people felt that it was inappropriate to connect fatal natural disasters to campaign issues. So on Monday, Bachmann explained that she was joking. Quote after the jump.

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Friday links! Disruption of normal life routines edition

Greetings from Washington DC, the hangover capital of our great nation! I have no idea what happened to my renal system last night. While I regain homeostasis, why don’t you enjoy this extremely half-assed collection of Friday links? They are united only in their profound uselessness, both to society and to the human spirit. They are also completely awesome and, since that’s how we roll, unsafe for work. Have I alienated both readers I’d retained up to this point? Then let’s get down to business.

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Friday links! Fiddles and fire edition

As hyperpartisan Photoshops go, this one is surprisingly well done. Maybe I'm just thrilled he's not wearing a turban.

We all who are not Russian spambots know the old expression about Nero fiddling while Rome burns. Clearly it is a durable metaphor, since it survived as a commonplace when much of the rest of western culture—including such minor elements as engineering and physiology—was lost with the fall of the Empire. Yet the fiddle was not invented until a millennium after the Great Fire, as any smug prick will tell you. This sketches an interesting narrative: the image “Nero sings while Rome burns” or “Nero plays the lyre while Rome burns” had to reproduce as a viable meme for a thousand years, only to mutate into the much more viable strain “Nero fiddles while Rome burns” upon the invention of the violin—or, more likely, upon the convergence of the terms “fiddle” to play the violin and “fiddle” to screw around. Besides presenting a rad instance of ideational evolution, this progression is a testament to the power of human beings to envision collapse in their own time. Because today is the last thing that ever happened, present times invariably seem like end times. I’m sure Nero remarked on the phenomenon often.

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Friday links! April General Public Day edition

Persian actor/comedian K-von, who I guess appeared on an MTV prank show called Disaster Date. All the April Fool's images involved cats, but not the funny kind.

It’s April first, and you know what that means: time to meditate in solemn silence on the betrayal of mankind perpetrated by Pontius Pilate at the behest of his master, the Jew. No, I’m kidding—time to pour Malt-o-Meal into your spouse’s nose while he or she is asleep. As any child with oppositional-defiant disorder will tell you, April Fool’s Day is the best holiday, because you’re allowed to commit any act of deception and/or cruelty provided you declare afterward that your victim is a fool. If you don’t do that last part, it’s just a regular day. Today’s link round-up contains a variety of pranks, ranging from parody to completely serious actions undertaken as state-level legislation to David Brooks’s career. None of it is as good as K-von, though. His name is really Kevin, right?

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