Marcus Bachmann presents nation with etiquette problem

By Dan Brooks in Existential Dilemmas 10 Comments

Michele and Marcus Bachmann—which of these people is insufficiently accustomed to making false pledges?

In her ongoing attempt to turn “job creators” into a political meme synonymous with “rich people,” Michele Bachmann has made much of the mental health clinic she founded with her husband, Marcus Bachmann, PhD. Although Marcus and Michele deny it, the Bachmann Clinic has been accused of performing “reparative therapy”—an APA-discounted approach to changing the orientations of homosexuals. Basically, it’s a pray-the-gay-away therapy, in which deeply conflicted homosexuals are told to read the Bible, repress their same-sex attractions and, if necessary, commit to lives of celibacy. Telling people that their romantic impulses are unnatural and possibly the result of a malevolent, supernatural force is clearly the best way for a board-certified psychiatrist to promulgate mental health, so we’re not even going to talk about that. Instead, we’re going to address a stickier, even more deeply throbbing problem, which I think Jon Stewart captures nicely in this video:

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Marcus Bachmann: that man is a homosexual.

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Being gay is a choice, says man trying desperately not to be gay

By Dan Brooks in Existential Dilemmas 3 Comments

Seriously, this is the best picture of George Rekers available. I defy you to find one on the internet that isn't just twelve big pixels and a mustache.

If you love the vague area between hypocrisy and irony the way I love the vague area between et cetera, you probably already know that George Rekers—psychologist, co-founder of the Family Research Council and general anti-gay crusader—recently took a vacation with a male prostitute he met on Rentboy.com. It should be stressed, here, that unlike most men who use male prostitution websites to purchase escorts for their Bahaman vacations, Rekers is not gay. It says so right on his website: “I am not gay and never have been,” just before the warning about “misleading media reports about Professor George Rekers” and slightly after the link to the section on “natural parenting versus gay parenting.” George Rekers is straight as a marching band major. It doesn’t matter what the media or his choice of a travel assistant with a “sweet, tight ass” or his endocrine system says. It matters what George Rekers says, because Rekers knows that sexual orientation is a choice.

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She seems like a nice lady. Loves cats.

By Dan Brooks in Public Discourse 7 Comments

Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan, seen here at the mouth of a cavernous, damp space.

If Elena Kagan isn’t a lesbian, she’s about to have her feelings hurt. The Solicitor General and Supreme Court nominee is a former dean of Harvard Law School, served as an Associate White House Counsel under Clinton, and otherwise—as our disturbingly uniform national media points out—has a mighty thin paper trail. She’s never sat as a judge, so we can’t pore over her rulings to determine whether she’s going to require abortions in church or allow mean dogs wearing American flags to preside over secret terrorist trials or whatever. Her academic writings are well-regarded but also famously technical. And you can’t tell anything about her just by looking, either. Nope—not one thing. She’s like an empty vessel, or maybe a vase with a calla lily in it, or one of those orchids by Georgia O’Keefe. She has emerged freshly formed into the national spotlight from Obama’s side like Eve, or Lilith. Maybe more like Lilith Fair.

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Feldblum “story” captures the transcendent genius of Fox News

By Dan Brooks in Rhetoric 0 Comment

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission appointee Chai Feldblum, who got her Gmail address without having to add any numbers or anything.

Unless you’ve been living in a cave for the last week, completely cut off from television, the internet, talk radio, newspapers, Twitter, coffee shop conversation and the mumblings of homeless people now, you’ve probably heard about Chai Feldblum. No? Obama’s controversial recess appointment to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission whose support for gay rights makes her a terrifying mystery to mainstream America? Ring a bell? Anything? That’s weird, because according to Fox News, the Obama Labor Pick’s Support For Gay Rights Worries Conservatives. Props to Ben “Yes, Folds—I Am Telling You an Anecdote That Rests On My Being Friends With Ben Folds” Fowlkes for the link. Just who these conservatives are or how Fox News became aware of the story that is their worry remains unclear, but that sort of vague sourcing is Fox’s modus operandi. It’s also the secret to the network’s genius fusion of editorial and news.

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