Dept. of Inevitability: Critics of evolution take on global warming

Personally, I think it's a sin to draw the flying spaghetti monster, but I already took high school biology so I'm damned anyway.

Remember in junior high, when the kid who was getting into shoplifting and the kid who broke windows on cars inexorably drifted toward each other? Well, they’re both born-again Christians now, and despite their apparent differences they’ve still got something in common: their complete rejection of modern science. Oh yeah—they’re also united by their complete ignorance of modern science, but ignorance never stopped a concerned American from influencing his local school board. The Times reports that opponents of teaching evolution in schools have expanded their opposition to include global warming, in part because courts have found that to attack only the science of evolution violates the separation of church and state. See? God never closes a door without opening a window, which had previously protected us from the 140-degree supersaturated vaporsphere.

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Friday links! Grieving chimps edition

I had a picture of Halloween sausage costumes, but you know what's really spooky? We're all going to die eventually. Now go ahead, kids—take one piece of candy each.

I had a picture of Halloween sausage costumes, but you know what's really spooky? We're all going to die eventually. Now go ahead, kids—take one piece of candy each.

The photo at left was sent to me by alert reader Ben Fowlkes, whose near-constant cruising for chimpanzee snuff movies on the internet is interrupted only by his cruising for chimpanzee snuff porn movies on the internet. National Geographic published this photograph of Dorothy, a female chimpanzee in her late forties who died of congestive heart failure. According to the NGM blog, the other chimps in the Sanga-Young Chimpanzee Rescue Center gathered to watch her burial in eerie silence. “If one knows chimpanzees, then one knows that [they] are not [usually] silent creatures,” said photographer, center volunteer and typographical error Monica Szczupider. Dorothy was a maternal figure for many of the residents of Sanga-Yong, which rehabilitates chimps traumatized by habitat loss or the African bushmeat trade. It would appear that the chimps pictured above are grieving. Next time someone smugly refutes Darwin’s theory of species differentiation through natural selection by pointing out that his grandma wasn’t an orangutan, viewing this picture gives you legal grounds to slap him in the mouth.

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Missouri band banned, Darwin be damned!

The ascent of man, from gorilla to Jesus

The ascent of man, from gorilla to Jesus

Phew. I have new respect for the New York Post. Not every headline writer can generate jewels like “Headless body found in topless bar”—nor, for that matter, can every town. The sleepy little burg of Sedalia, Missouri, for example, has to make its own fun. Fortunately, the local Smith-Cotton High School Marching band will soon present their Brass Evolutions 2009 show, which explores how brass instruments have changed from 1960 to today. Unfortunately, they won’t be allowed to wear the shirts they printed up for the event, which depict the Darwinian stages of human evolution from the popular “Ascent of Man” illustration above, each holding a trumpet. Those t-shirts have been repossessed by the school’s assistant superintendent, after parents complained that they endorsed evolution. Props to Smick for the link.

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