Combat! - Page 183 of 406 - A blog by Dan Brooks

What makes Valerie run?

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized February 6, 2014 1 Comment

This photo by Alex Sakariassen is quickly becoming the most-used image in Combat! history.

The sum news disseminators of western Montana are so close to producing one Ravalli County treasury item per day. This morning, we hear from KGVO that embattled treasurer Valerie Stamey claims no one has contacted her about the audit and investigation of her office. It’s possible that’s because she’s the primary object of that investigation. It’s possible that most government officials would not comment on an ongoing investigation, particularly not to imply that it is bullshit. But Stamey is not most government officials. My column today in the Missoula Independent tries to come up with a unifying theory of Stamey, based on her bizarre ad lib while leading Bitterroot Republicans in the Lord’s Prayer. Surely, someone who adds a joke to a prayer must be a particular kind of person, but what? “Sociopath” is too easy. We’ll be back tomorrow with Friday links.

George Zimmerman to box DMX for “charity”

By Dan Brooks in Here Is Your American Culture February 5, 2014 2 Comments

George Zimmerman prepares to make the second-worst mistake of his life.

First of all, eff CNN for the lede of this story, which is not only unfunny but also applicable to pretty much any story about anything anywhere. The ellipses don’t help. Second, props to A. Ron Galbraith for again sending me a delightful link. And third, is it really such a good idea for George Zimmerman to box DMX? Obviously its a bad idea for America as a culture, but it also seems to be a bad idea for Zimmerman, who two years ago was taken down an badly beaten by an opponent he outweighed by 70 pounds. Plus DMX has announced that he intends to pee on him.

Traffic stats show Colorado turned to pornography after Super Bowl

By Dan Brooks in Contemporary Media February 4, 2014 3 Comments

The Seahawks ram it through the Broncos’ tight little defense.

A. Ron Galbraith sent me this fascinating analysis of traffic on Pornhub.com during and after the Super Bowl, which suggests that Denver fans continued to have a hard time when the game was over. Get ready for more of that kind of talk. During the Super Bowl, internet traffic from Colorado and Washington to the web’s most popular pornographic video site deviated from average by -51% and -61%, respectively. After the game, Seattle traffic remained 17% below average, but Denver traffic was 11% higher than usual. It appears that Broncos fans drowned their sorrows in Kleenex, which gets weirder the longer you think about it.

Philip Seymour Hoffman does amazing acting job, makes us think he’s dead

By Dan Brooks in Existential Dilemmas February 3, 2014 2 Comments

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmA-WSNhmRQ

On her oft-baffling Twitter feed, Joyce Carol Oates suggested that it is doubly depressing when a great artist dies of a drug overdose, because it suggests that mastery of art is not enough. She was referring to Philip Seymour Hoffman, who was found dead in his Greenwich Village apartment yesterday with a needle in his arm. Surely, playing both Brandt and Truman Capote must be enough. For anyone who ever wanted to act, just watching his roles sparked a renewed enthusiasm. Watching Philip Seymour Hoffman is a reason to live, so how could being Philip Seymour Hoffman not be enough?

Friday links! Little things edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links January 31, 2014 2 Comments

Ants!

It’s the little things in life that make a difference: microbes, for example, or an extra line of code in Target’s credit card security, or those ants that probably live in your DVD player. In art, too, as in nature/the DVD player, the nuances are often more important than the long lines. Today is Friday, and the difference between buttermilk and cream is no more than a few drops of lemon juice. Won’t you curdle with me?