Virtual fashion economy booming, says virtual news story

By Dan Brooks in consumerism, counterculture, inevitability of death, Internet, oppositional culture 4 Comments
In real life she's an utterly empty shrew, too, but she's kind of fatter.

In real life she's an utterly empty shrew, too, but kind of fatter.

The copy of a screenshot of the virtual version of a person at right is Angie Mornington, host of a weekly fashion show on Treet TV, the television station of the avatar-driven social networking platform Second Life. I find that sentence confusing, too. If you want to depress yourself, think about how 15,000 people a week use their fantasy lives in a 3-D computer world to watch television—and the virtual television equivalent of The Home Shopping Network, at that. If you want to depress me, point out how that’s about 300 times the readership of my blog.

All this information—okay, not the last sentence—comes from a trend piece in today’s Times about luxury spending in virtual worlds like Second Life, There.com and IMVU. For those of you unfamiliar with the ever-narrowing canyon between geek and sexual fetish culture that is Second Life, it’s a free-form, virtual world in which players own land and consumer goods, run businesses, interact socially and live out lies of computer-modeled desperation through their avatars, which are invariably both disturbing and attractive in roughly the same way as Angelina Jolie. Membership in these sites is free, but the money you spend there—Lindens in Second Life, Therebucks in There—has to be purchased with actual United States or foreign currency. Which—especially after you hear that such virtual worlds enjoy economies whose “avatar-to-avatar transactions [are] estimated at between $1 billion and $2 billion a year in real dollars,”—begs a question: Why?

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Glenn Beck cries, longing for America of old commercials

By Dan Brooks in consumerism, glenn beck, Reactionary Populism 3 Comments

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zt_G6Lq9jWQ

Do you remember a simpler time, when America was not so much a postindustrial superpower struggling to compete in a globalized economy as it was a hallway with Mean Joe Greene in it? Or when our national discourse was not so much the difficult process of reconciling changing demographics with a shared tradition as it was a series of decontextualized images from family reunions? Glenn Beck remembers that time, and he wants to know how we can go back to it. “America has never been a perfect place, but we used to be united,” he says solemnly. “If a politician told you right now that he could make that happen again, that you could go back to those simpler times when people were together, you’d do it in a heartbeat, wouldn’t you?” Beck goes on to say that, of course, no politician could do that for us, before spending a few minutes explaining to us how we could go back to that simpler time by following his instructions, which he conveys via an extremely confusing metaphor. Watching Glenn Beck use logic to construct an analogy is like watching a woman hit her kid at the supermarket.

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Levi Johnston’s pistachio commercial captures essential tragedy of human existence

By Dan Brooks in consumerism 6 Comments

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggB6SsB4DgM&feature=player_embedded

Yes, that is Levi Johnston, baby daddy to Tripp Palin, former future son-in-law of former future serious human being Sarah Palin. The story of Johnston—plucked from rural semi-poverty and promised to a local aristocrat, only to be cast back into the newly unsatisfying life from which he came—is a sort of Great Expectations for contemporary America, and this nuts commercial shows just how great our expectations are. “Now Levi Johnston…does it with protection,” the voiceover intones. Ha! See, Levi Johnston is famous because he got the governor’s daughter pregnant when he was in, like, high school, right? And that was the same year that the governor suddenly became a candidate for Vice President of the United States, and instead of getting her daughter an abortion and having Levi killed, like the governor of Nevada would have done, she made Levi get engaged, at least until November! Now he’s got a kid and he has to make money to support it, but at the same time he’s nineteen years old and famous for no good reason! So, you know, nuts commercial! If only that commercial could be broadcast backwards in time and viewed by the Levi Johnston of two years ago, maybe the shouted question, “how’s the baby?” could serve as a useful warning instead of a chilling reminder.

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Retail sales figures offer a little perspective on the recession

By Dan Brooks in consumerism, new york times, Uncategorized 2 Comments
Sure, you might die, but that's a small price to pay for feeling briefly alive.

Sure, you might die, but that's a small price to pay for feeling briefly alive.

Just how bad is our continuing economic downturn? Depending on whom you ask, the recession is basically over, or it will continue for many months, or the American economy will become so vitiated that we will all be forced to subsist by selling naked pictures of Tila Tequila to our Mandarin overlords. It’s all a matter of perspective. If you’re a guy with slicked-back hair in JG Melon, chances are things are looking better for you, since the Dow is back to a rosy 9,825—a far cry from the bat[sugar] crazy heights of 2007, but still pretty good. For people who are not named Tad, little has improved since this time last year, as unemployment approaches ten percent and the job-loss rate increases. It’s a good old-fashioned jobless recovery, and once again the best way to make money in America is to do no work and produce nothing of value. So is it time to strap on your overalls, sterilize your harmonica and ride the rails in search of pie? When your grandpa talks about how bad the Depression was, can you call him a bitch? Economic misery is a competitive business, and if you’re like me, it’s not enough to know if things are Bad. You want to know if they are Historically Bad.

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Don’t worry—we still have the Millennials

By Dan Brooks in consumerism, health care, health insurance reform, help me kill zombies, hipsters, Millennials, town hall meetings 4 Comments
This is going to be so funny when I AAAAIIIIGHOHGOD! SWEET JESUS, I CAN'T...I MEAN I CAN'T (Silence. Cell phone ring.)

This is going to be so funny when I AAAAIIIIGHOHGOD! SWEET JESUS, I CAN'T...I MEAN I CAN'T (Silence. Cell phone ring.)

Yesterday at Combat! blog we got a little freaked out about how it’s entirely possible that everyone will get too stupid to operate America. Those of you horror movie fans who still crave tales of terrifying democracy will enjoy this article in the New York Times about Arlen Specter’s town hall meeting. It tells the story of Berks County Tea Party chairman Jon Stahl, a 65 year-old laid off from his job 18 months ago, who has since organized protests against taxes, the stimulus plan and health care reform. Presumably he is able to work full-time to stop government welfare because he gets social security benefits. The Times article points out that anti-reform protesters arrived several hours early to the meeting, creating enormous lines. I quote:

Proponents of the overhaul voiced the opposite fear, also citing larger issues at stake. “This isn’t just about health care,” said Carolyn Doric of Harrisburg, “it’s about political power and a means to regain political power.” Ms. Doric did not get into the meeting.

Normally, reading something like that would cause me to buy a high-powered rifle. But then I remembered the Millennials—that idealistic new generation that swept Barack Obama into power in the first place, and constitutes a new creative class of educated, informed, young professionals immune to conservative populism. Previous generations may have devolved into single-issue tax phobics, but the Millennials won’t be consumed by their need for disposable income. Right?

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