Happy Thanksgiving!

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 2 Comments

Happy Thanksgiving, suckas! I plan to spend the day reenacting exactly the picture above, only with Los Angelenos instead of Indians and Aaron Galbraith instead of a hot church girl with pie. The important thing is that it will be exactly as the pilgrims intended: 65 degrees, twenty fusion dishes, somewhere in what used to Mexico. Frankly, I’m shocked to be still sober at this hour. While I correct that, how about you enjoy this astonishingly long Wheel of Fortune fail? I am thankful that Wheel of Fortune does not determine the leadership structures of our society. I’m also thankful that a bunch of people read my stupid blog every day, even though they should probably be spending time with their families. And all I have to repay you with is this:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS4BkkMRGsY&feature=player_embedded

Californian lazy week continues

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 0 Comment

As predicted by our mothers, Combat! blog continues to wallow in the lazy California air, gradually losing all interest in politics, culture, physical motion and everything else besides finding the exact right combination of sunbeam and gentle breeze. While we continue to do nothing, haphazardly, how about you read this terrifying speculation on Sarah Palin’s presidential future, courtesy of Frank Rich. It’s probably nothing to worry about. The American people would never vote for an attractive woman who panders to their sense of anti-intellectual solidarity. Especially if she were running against a black guy who went to Harvard. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to make plans to eventually think about going to maybe get a cup of coffee.

Combat! blog flies through air, isn’t useful

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 1 Comment

Combat! blog is flying to Los Angeles today, in order to observe Thanksgiving as the pilgrims intended. As part of this arrangement, will I have to pass through a machine that shows a high school graduate a picture of my dick? You betcha, although maybe I can negotiate for one of those special pat-downs. (All right—”special pats-down.” Are you happy? I’m not happy.) We’ll be back tomorrow, shortly before disappearing again for Thanksgiving/ever. In the meantime, enjoy this rock jam. It’s delightful.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUlrkstmTfE

Sarah Palin, ironist

By Dan Brooks in sarah palin 3 Comments

Sarah Palin does her impression of Alaska.

It’s been a while since we’ve discussed the perambulations of Sarah Palin through the American psyche, maybe because she seems to be fading, just a little, into the background insanity of contemporary discourse. Whenever someone brings her up I’m filled with fear and resentment, sure, but lately it’s rare that I find myself thinking about her on my own. She hasn’t made up a word or a fact about pending policy decisions in like ten weeks, and I almost started to forget about her. That’s exactly the kind of thing that at least one multimillion-dollar organization is designed to prevent, and now that the midterms are over, Sarah Palin has come roaring back. The original plan was to have her say “cunt” on national television—possibly to Gwen Ifill—but instead she wrote a book. And based on the passages leaked to Gawker and The Daily Beast, it’s a goddamn masterpiece of irony.

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Friday links! Satisfactions of elitism edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links 1 Comment

Now that the nation has been conveniently divided into Real Americans and everyone I know, and now that the former group has run proud and jiggling through the finish tape of electoral democracy, it’s time to face facts: elitism is cool again. Arch misanthropy is cool again. Sarcastically agreeing with the ignorant might even be cool again. It must be, because such people appear to be winning. What makes elitism uncool is that the elitist is—by definition if not in contemporary practice—winning. Making fun of the dumb and inexpert therefore looks an awful lot like gloating. There’s only one time when elitism is cool, and that’s when general stupidity attains such a supermajority that it overcomes its natural limitations and starts running society. Friends, now is one such historical moment. The retiring middle class and the sons of congressmen have wrested government from the insiders who run Washington, wrested discourse from the nebbishes who spend all day following the news, and wrested history from the eggheads who wasted years learning about it. They had TV already, so that’s pretty much everything. The people have spoken, and they have chosen themselves and/or whomever can convincingly mimic them as the wisest members of society. We humble minority will have to obey them, but we are allowed to make fun. Once you’re losing, that’s your prize. Won’t you snipe bitterly with me?

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