Trident commercial lays out worst argument in sales history

By Dan Brooks in advertising 6 Comments

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG2MuOyrCrQ

The fanciful commercial above is for Trident Layers, a chewing gum that contains a layer of mouthwash or food coloring or industrial epoxy or something in the middle. The candy industry is a fresh, minty mystery to me, but I assume now is not a great time to try to sell a new kind of gum to adults. Perhaps for that reason, Trident has broken the standards set by Juicy Fruit* and Doublemint** to go with something funny—sorry, “funny.” Like many commercials, this one is essentially a comedy sketch. Unlike many commercials, it is predicated on the viewer believing that the product being sold is not worth the money.

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Kyl plans to torpedo arms treaty

By Dan Brooks in Politics versus Government 2 Comments

Senate Minority Whip Jon Kyl, rehearsing here for his "Mr. Kyl" puppet show

In a surprise move that angered the White House and delighted nuclear weapons fans, Senate Minority Whip Jon “The License Plate” Kyl has announced that he will block a vote on the New Start treaty during the lame duck session of Congress. The treaty would have capped US and Russian nuclear arsenals and restored inspections to both countries, which lapsed last year for the first time since the Cold War. It was also widely regarded as an important step in improving relations with Russia, which country happens to hold a lot of influence over A) transport routes to Afghanistan and B) the ongoing effort to keep Iran* from developing nuclear weapons. Those sound like two compelling American interests, right there, but Kyl is concerned that the whole thing might be a little rushed. After months of negotiations, he announced that he would block cloture, “given the combination of other work Congress must do and the complex and unresolved issues related to Start and modernization.”

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Google Veterans’ Day image causes imaginary controversy

By Dan Brooks in Contemporary Media 3 Comments

Google's logo from Veterans' Day. This is step one in my plan to convince people that my blog is actually Google. Step three is profit.

In the course of your Veterans’ Day celebrations—going to the bank, realizing from the sign on the front door that it was a holiday, going directly to the liquor store, experiencing a period of missing time, then coming back to some dude in a pointy helmet shouting “nein! nein!” from your headlock—you might have forgotten to check Google. Even if you did check the Google on Thursday, you might not have noticed that its special Veterans’ Day logo was, in fact, an Islamic crescent rising behind the American flag. That may be because the infiltration of Islam in American society is so pernicious that you never notice until it’s too late, or possibly because you have seen the letter “e” before. Either way, you have to agree that Google Veterans Day Controversy: American Flag, Islamic Crescent Moon Doodle Sparks Internet Outrage. That’s how Associated Content’s William Browning sees it, anyway. Props to Mike for the link.

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Okay, says NY Times, you fix the budget

By Dan Brooks in Politics versus Government 3 Comments

In the wake of last week’s report from the National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform—and the cascade of agreements with all the fiscal responsibility proposed therein, except for cuts to defense, social security, Medicare and most tax exemptions—the New York Times has produced this fun puzzle. It invites readers to construct their own balanced federal budgets by adopting or declining a series of cuts, including to foreign and state aid, federal workforces and defense. You can see my own personal Keynesian, soak-the-rich plan here. It balances the budget mostly by returning tax rates to Clinton-era levels and getting the fudge out of Central Asia/space, and it preserves Medicare and farm subsidies. Apparently I am some sort of secret communist, which is why I encourage you to make a budget of your own. Either that or you could rail passionately against every spending cut you can think of, plus tax increases of any sort, while simultaneously demanding a balanced budget immediately. Just put on your American flag shirt and yell directly at the numbers.

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Friday links! Tough decisions edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links 1 Comment

The National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform has released its recommendations for returning federal deficits to manageable levels, and like the rest of the country, I’ve caught Fiscal Responsibility and Reformomania. In previous eras, my condition was only treatable with a frontal responsibilobotomy,* but modern science has given us several options. We can cut defense spending and reduce Social Security benefits for new retirees. We can eliminate certain deductions and return income tax rates on the wealthy to historically normal levels. We could stop invading central Asian countries for seven years at a time because God told us to. Or we could look at this slate of tough decisions, vitally important to the preservation of our way of life and , and puss out and do nothing.

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