No one in Trump campaign expected Melania to get caught

Classy

Classy

It would be unfair to ask Melania Trump to write her own speech for the Republican convention. As the third wife of a billionaire 25 years her senior, she was not selected for her oratory skills. And can you imagine what it would be like to start in a Slovenian village and go on to marry the loudest asshole in America? Between Sevnica and Cleveland, she probably did some things she did not at first enjoy. My point is that Melania is through working, and we should leave her to peacefully wait out this last year of her husband’s life. In the meantime, hire a ghostwriter. Newt Gingrich would do it for lunch, I bet, and you could get somebody really good for money. This brings us to the question of whom the Trump campaign got—because, as you’ve no doubt heard, a portion of Melania’s speech sounded just like Michelle Obama’s speech from 2008.

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Times finds that Walsh plagiarized large portions of War College thesis

Senator John Walsh (D–MT) wears a facial expression he plagiarized from a box of Lemonheads.

Senator John Walsh (D–MT) wears a facial expression he plagiarized from a box of Lemonheads.

It is extremely generous of the New York Times to say that Montana Senator John Walsh “confronts questions of plagiarism,” given that the last 800 words of his master’s thesis are taken verbatim from a paper published by the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. The document that Walsh turned in to get his degree from the US Army War College in 2007 contains several uncited passages from related papers on the internet, along with several passages that are footnoted but not quoted, despite being copied from the original sources word-for-word. I encourage you to read the Times article, if only to get a sense of what a mash-up Walsh’s thesis appears to be. There’s also a rad denial from the Senator himself, but you’ll have to click on the jump to read that.

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Shia LaBeouf interrogates authorship, taunts Clowes with skyplane

An image of Shia LaBeouf originally published in The Worst magazine, as if that means anything

An image of Shia LaBeouf originally published in The Worst magazine, as if that means anything

It’s all our faults collectively, but Transformers made Shia LaBeouf an aristocrat. We had to see live actors be friends with computer-rendered characters from a cartoon about a toy, so now LaBeouf gets an income forever. Like many members of the leisure class, he has turned to art, producing a short film obviously plagiarized from a Daniel Clowes comic. Like many m.’s of the l.c. who get in trouble, he subsequently turned to philosophy, arguing that authorship is censorship and intellectual property is theft in a series of weird interviews that were, themselves, kind of plagiarized. He also hired a skywriter to blanket LA with a sarcastic apology to Clowes, who lives in San Francisco.

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Rand Paul: “Haters” accusing me of plagiarism

Rand Paul (R-KY) plagiarizes a speech from Rick Flair.

Rand Paul (R-KY) plagiarizes a speech from Rick Flair.

In case you hadn’t heard, Rand Paul is currently embroiled in the most tepid plagiarism scandal imaginable. Speaking at Liberty University last week, the senator and self-certified ophthalmologist warned against the dangers of genetic testing by talking about what college kids can understand: Ethan Hawke movies from the nineties. Quote:

In the movie Gattaca, in the not too distant future, eugenics is common. And DNA plays a primary role in determining your social class.

Compare that to the Wikipedia summary of the film, which reads, “In ‘the not-too-distant future,’ eugenics is common and DNA plays the primary role in determining social class.” More middles school-level shirking from the senator’s office after the jump.

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Superintendent plagiarizes letter to the editor, maybe doesn’t understand original

Max Lenington, Yellowstone County treasurer, assessor and superintendent of schools

Max Lenington, Yellowstone County treasurer, assessor and superintendent of schools

Max Lenington hates the president and his wife; that much he made clear in the letter he wrote last week to the editor of the Billings Gazette, entitled “Why I hate the Obamas.” The way in which he hates the Obamas, however, is suspiciously similar to that described in conservative columnist Mychal Massie’s piece “Why I do not like the Obamas,” which Massie accuses Lenington of plagiarizing. I should point out that these are all allegations and no one has confirmed that Lenington plagiarized anything, but he totally did it. As the Missoulian puts it, “Lenington appears to have essentially condensed Massie’s editorial from about 1,000 words to 300 words. It also seems that he restructured sentences written by Massie and interchanged certain words with others that have similar definitions.” Comparison after the jump.

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