Romney keeps it surreal in the Hamptons

By Dan Brooks in Republican Candidates 3 Comments

“We removed it to make his mouth more efficient!”

My favorite aspect of the 2012 presidential election is the micro-genre of news story in which Mitt Romney does some Richie Rich shit. This weekend was delightful, as Romney held a trio of fundraisers in the Hamptons. You may remember the Hamptons from such experiences as client invites you to his summer home to reinforce the idea that he is your boss, or this. That was hilarious when I was twelve, but now that I am older I prefer the sort of sardony you can only get from the New York Times:

A woman in a blue chiffon dress poked her head out of a black Range Rover here on Sunday afternoon and yelled to an aide to Mitt Romney, “Is there a V.I.P. entrance. We are V.I.P.” No such entrance existed.

Well played, Michael Barbaro and Sarah Wheaton. But for the prize pig Romney donor quote of the weekend, you’ll have to click on the jump.

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Friday links! Heady concepts edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links 2 Comments

The presidential sash has since been retired.

Consider for a moment how much more complex our world is than the one in which our ancestors lived. The physical environment is roughly the same—albeit with abortion protestors where burning witches used to be—but our interpretation of that world is far more nuanced. Prose fiction, classical physics, the germ theory of disease, moral relativism, environmental stewardship, being cool—all these concepts overlay one another to make the modern world stand in relation to the past as an origami crane relates to a sheet of paper. It’s Friday, and the more you know the more improbable that seems. Today’s link roundup is full of fine writing and heady concepts, plus fungus. Won’t you deepen the manifold with me?

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Friday links! What you can get away with edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links 2 Comments

Don't let the pogo stick fool you—he is going to beat the living shit out of that burglar.

It is a known fact that our society has lower standards for public behavior than any America that has come before. It is also well known that we are a nation of scolds. How to reconcile these two truths? You can drill a hole in the ocean floor and dump thousands of gallons of crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico or claim to read all newspapers, and that’s cool, but take a picture of your wang and your career is over. It’s a balancing act, this American life of indulging every venal impulse while making sure never to leave yourself vulnerable to the judgment of 300 million other people doing same. Today is Friday, I have an absurd amount of work to do and a Blondie-style cocktail party to host when it’s over, and today’s link roundup is all about what you can do and what you can’t. I think you’ll be surprised by both. As usual around here, “surprised” means “grimly indignant.” Won’t you indignate with me?

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Board to investigate Nobel Peace Prize

By Dan Brooks in Public Discourse 2 Comments

*cough* blowjob!

Fredrik Heffermehl, a Norwegian activist who has long criticized laureates of the Nobel Peace Prize, has finally convinced someone to investigate how the committee determines its awards. Props to Pete for the link. In an awesome instance of how location still matters in geopolitics, it turns out that the Nobel is supervised by the Stockholm County Administrative Board. Should the SCAB decide that the Peace Prize committee has not carried out the will of Alfred J. Nobel, it will have the legal power to invalidate awards going back three years. Probably that isn’t going to happen. But remember when they gave it to the commander-in-chief of two wars who subsequently used robot planes to incinerate various foreign nationals? It’s possible the Peace Prize has seen some mission creep.

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Friday links! To my old master edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links 2 Comments

Escaped slaves in Virginia, 1862. The baby in this picture is 150 years old.

It is a known fact that a lot of assholes have more power than you. Mitch McConnell, Ke$ha, Pat Robertson, bone loss, the fundamental economic problem, Steven Tyler, tooth decay—pretty much any of them could, at a whim, do things to your life that you could not undo. The forces arrayed above us are mind-boggling. Think of your boss at work, and then try to think of every person who could pay him to fire you. The situation is terrifying. Paradoxically, even though most of it is because people arranged everything before you got here, it will only get worse as you age. Until right at the end. Right at the end, you will attain to a position where no one has any power over you whatsoever. In the meantime, you can say whatever you want. It’s Friday, the weekend approaches as Sherman approached the sea, and they’ve got the guns but we are funnier. Historical primary source document after the jump.

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