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Friday links! F-word edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links, Uncategorized January 27, 2012 2 Comments

Fuckin' Mussolini

Fascism is one of those ideas you hear about all the time that no one can cleanly define. Perhaps that’s why it has become to American politics what “ironic” is to popular music. It’s notoriously difficult to teach to kids—here I mean the historical-political concept; it turns out children learn to actually do fascism really quickly—and yet, since it caused the war that ushered in the modern era, it comes up a lot. So fascism is a real problem. The best way to explain it is to note that all fascist governments are different, but they invariably have a few features in common: aggressive nationalism, authoritarian social structures, consolidation of governing power. And let us not forget the George Harrison of fascism, close cooperation between government and industry.

Could Barack Obama defeat Congress?

By Dan Brooks in Politics versus Government January 26, 2012 4 Comments

Every schoolchild knows that the Founders built American government on a system of checks and balances, by which the executive and legislative branches battle each other for eventual control of the military judiciary. Starting around January 16, 2009, it looked like Congress was winning. There are a lot more of them, so they enjoy the same advantages over the President that gazelles enjoy over lions: anonymity and coordination. Meanwhile, the United States of America hurtles toward doom and bread riots—that’s the consensus, at least—so Congress need only stall this position and wait. They’re like mutineers who decide to kill the captain and next conclude that the best way to kill the captain is to sink his ship. So picture 535 gazelles and a lion fighting in the control room of the Bounty, and that’s our government for the last three years.

SOTU not as rad as hoped, again

By Dan Brooks in Politics versus Government January 25, 2012 0 Comment

You're telling me there were people above him that entire time?

Every year I watch the State of the Union Address, and every year I expect something amazing to happen: the President announces that he has nationalized Canada’s oil industry, for example, or says that he has a new position on gun control and then tears off his shirt to flex his biceps. The President turns to John Boehner, smiles, and calmly pushes his speaker gavel off the edge of the desk. Shockingly, none of that happened last night. It sort of looked like Joe Biden had a cold, and someone in the audience began either booing or shouting “Bruce!” at the proposal to ban insider trading by members of Congress. Also the President declared class war, but more on that later. First we have amusing screen caps.

US democracy enjoys healthy rental market

By Dan Brooks in corporatocracy January 24, 2012 4 Comments

Mitt Romney, whose 2010-2011 income came almost entirely from capital gains.

During a flashback in the episode of The Simpsons where Homer and Grandpa enjoy brief success selling a homemade aphrodisiac, child Homer says he hopes to someday be President. “Son,” his father says, “this is the greatest country in the world. They’ve got a whole system to prevent people like you from becoming President.” We are now in the first presidential election year since Citizens United v. FEC, and the richest man ever to run for that office has been goaded into releasing his tax returns. In 2010, Mitt Romney received an adjusted gross income of $26 million—approximately 500 times what I made. He paid a federal income tax rate of 13.9%, around four points lower than what I paid. In Romney’s defense, almost all of his income came from investments and his inheritance, whereas my income came from wage work, which is taxed at a higher rate. In my defense, fuck Mitt Romney and the federal corporatocracy he hopes to captain.

Gingrich wins SC, moving one step closer to Throne of Destiny

By Dan Brooks in Republican Candidates January 23, 2012 1 Comment

Newton Leroy Gingrich wipes away tears of vengeance.

Today is a particularly hectic day around the Combat! blog offices—it turns out many of the interns have been contracting freelance work when they were supposed to be cleaning the octopus tank—but it’s probably for the best, since it will give us all more time to think about this. Newt Gingrich didn’t just win the South Carolina primary; he exploded the entire GOP nominating contest, leaving America’s registered Republicans to stand numbly as smoldering flakes of Romney drift down from the sky around them. Or he spent five million dollars of casino money to convince America’s third least literate state that he hates the last 30 years, too. We probably won’t know until the convention, which is what makes election season so fun. Please god, please make Newton Leroy Gingrich the 2012 Republican nominee for President. Also please let the interns find my octopus by nightfall.