Romney admits he will never convince you to care about your life

By Dan Brooks in Republican Candidates 8 Comments

Then over here you’ve got the Asians; they’re good at math, so they’ll never vote for me either.

Is there any better metaphor for contemporary conservatism than Mitt Romney complaining that he would have had a chance if only he had been born Mexican? Yesterday, Mother Jones swept back to relevance by releasing a series of surreptitious videos of the Republican nominee speaking at a fundraiser in Boca Raton, where he lamented that the 47% of Americans who do not pay federal income tax will vote for Barack Obama no matter what. “My job is is not to worry about those people,” Romney said. “I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.” I mean, hell—if the wailing of their hungry children doesn’t…

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Santorum possibly working in satire now

By Dan Brooks in Reactionary Populism 1 Comment

I have laughed at this picture so many times that I don’t even need Photoshop to put a dick in it.

Speaking at the Values Voter Summit in Washington yesterday, Rick Santorum said that conservatives “will never have the elite, smart people on our side.” Don’t worry; he made a face when he said “smart people,” so everyone would understand. Santorum knows that smart people are dumb, and people who oppose his plan to make a series of laws against abortion and gay sex and selling liquor on Sundays “want to tell you what to do.” Quote:

We will never have the media on our side, ever, in this country. We will never have the elite, smart people on our side, because they believe they should have the power to tell you what to do.

On first blush, it’s an airtight logical argument. It’s possible there are a couple of holes, though, and they go beyond whether Santorum was being sarcastic, as David Weigel oddly argues. You get that straw man, David Weigel—shake him! Video after the jump.

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Friday links! Impossibility of perspective edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links 1 Comment

Smoke from the Sawtooth fire obscures the damn sun.

I am dogsitting my excellent nephew in the South Hills today, and the smoke is so thick I cannot see the mountains. Hell, I can’t see the grocery store at the bottom of the hill. The Sawtooth fire has covered Missoula in a rich musk, equal parts wood smoke and singed squirrel. In addition to creating some really excellent lighting effects and possibly damaging my lungs, the smoke creates an atmosphere of isolation. Even more than usual, the broad view is impossible. Today is Friday, and none of us can see too far in front of his own nose. Won’t you revel in subjectivity with me?

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See the film that turned the whole world stupid

By Dan Brooks in Church People 3 Comments

By now have you heard about the wave of asshole behavior sparked by The Innocence of Muslims, a fourteen-minute quote-unquote trailer for a movie that probably does not exist but nonetheless insults the one true religion. In Egypt, Libya and now Yemen—so all the best countries, really—the film sparked violent protests and attacks on US consulates. In the back seat of his solid gold train, it revealed a glitch in Mitt Romney’s programming that causes him to ignore the arrow of time. Then everyone went nuts, including a suspiciously large number of anonymous Republicans. Amid all this meshugas, though, the American press has forgotten to ask the one question that’s really important about The Innocence of Muslims: is it any good?

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Vitor Belfort offers free Brazilian expression for you to use

By Dan Brooks in Contemporary Media 1 Comment

When Vitor Belfort ruled the Earth

Yesterday I stopped reading internet comments sections. September 11, 2012: never forget to not read comments. That includes the Combat! blog comments section, so if you have some urgent message or want to tell me how great I am, email me. If you want to say that I sux dik, keep posting below. Ours is a great comments section and will be hard to let go, but Ben al-Fowlkes convinced me. Last night, when I briefly stopped talking to stuff fried cheese into my mouth as fast as I could, he observed that the punishment for reading comments on what you write fits the crime. In the same conversation, he mentioned that during yesterday’s UFC 152 media conference call, Vitor Belfort said he feels like “a young dinosaur” ahead of his fight with Jon Jones.

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