httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QxXg3iuHvw
I should warn you that the footage of a cat looking into the My Spy Birdhouse at 1:20 of this video is, as the disclaimer plainly indicates, a dramatization. That cat did not actually become fascinated by a birdhouse with no back wall suction-cupped to the window. That cat isn’t even alive. He was rendered from a composite of several other successful advertising cats, now dead, and added during post-pro. We never figured out how to keep a real cat alive for more than a few days, because we had no idea what they were doing when we couldn’t see them. It’s too late for cats, but birds—oh, birds. Their secret life is fucking over.
Everybody loves watching birds, from children to the elderly to our dramatic imaginings of cats. But who can see birds all the time? Not the millions of benighted souls born and dead before the My Spy Birdhouse was invented, whose “lives” were charades of paranoid ignorance. Where do birds go at night? What do they do when I can’t see them? Why is my child coughing? For millions of years, humanity had no answers to these questions. Our forebears understood the world and all birds in it as fonts of terror.
The whole deal with birds is they can fly. You can look at them for a while, but then they take off. Why can’t you see the bird after it starts flying? It is too far away. Can another person who is also far away see that bird, rendering the question of what it is doing at least theoretically answerable? No. It is behind something opaque. Human knowledge is fucking beggared, as far as that bird is concerned. It could be doing anything.
In general, when birds fly away they go to nests. Often, when they are flying around, they are looking for materials to build these nests, such as hair and sticks, but this knowledge is only statistical. Many birds are looking for sticks. Birds generally are building nests. But the individual bird? Who knows what the fuck he is doing, once he gets out of your field of vision.
He could be shaking really fast and then looking around, or pecking a root. Our understanding of birds is like our understanding of quantum events: accurate as a statistical distribution describing millions, but useless in the individual case. The problem is that the act of observation changes the bird observed. What is the bird doing when we climb a tree and look inside his nest? Freaking out. What are birds doing in the moments before we can see them? Getting ready to fly away.
The My Spy Birdhouse solves that problem so we can finally know something. The trick is the crystal-clear acrylic window, which you stick up against your regular window in such a way that there are two windows between you and the birds. Premodern birdhouses had another wall instead of a crystal-clear acrylic window. You could stick them to your window, but the wood was opaque, so the birds would be in there doing god knows what.
Other birdhouses had no back wall and were not attached to a window pane, so the bird would just fly through the hole into your house. You knew what it was doing, but what it was doing sucked. It was the observation problem all over again: all we ever saw birds do was knock over curios and walk on pillowcases.
All that bullshit is fucking over, thanks to the My Spy Birdhouse. The crystal-clear acrylic window means you can see the birds all the time, but they can never see you. Watch them preen and speak English in the illusory comfort of their own home. Put your face right up against the window while they’re mating. They will never know, but you will. You will know exactly what birds are doing, all the time. You can finally sleep.
Words like fonts and beggared help me laugh at words like fuck and fucking.
Halfway through I realized you could have been paid to write this post, and that I didn’t care. Advertising is content. Content is advertising.
No “epistemology” tag?
The word “curios” was what got me. It all felt rather Donald Barthelme.
[url=http://www.wtobrand.com/pr1.html]Hamilton漢ミルトン表とイタリアヨット神話リーヴァ署名ブランドグローバル協力協議に宣言して、未来の協力関係。ウブロ時計コピー首の波の協力は、2007年末に導入するHamiltonをリーヴァヨット船体ディテールが霊感を構築し、「リーヴァtimed by Hamilton」シリーズの腕時計。[/url]
[url=http://www.brandiwc.com/brand-7-copy-0.html]色は、この腕時計で新しいことを唯一のものでない:リンデやり直しのダイヤルを持って、5層からなる上部層、さらに白骨化されている。この月のより多くの相は10、11時位置で着用者によって見られるのを許します。また、lwなくなると彼らは合金リンデと呼んでいますが、「航空宇宙材料」を作成しました(または「alw」)。その音は少しあるかもしれない間、リンデによってチタンの半分の重さと鋼の強度が2倍になった。材料は、以前は「無色」の形で使用されているが、リンデの白い背景の上に、光を吸収するとタコの色を変更する方法を模倣することを意図します。我々がどのようにすべての人にこれを翻訳するのを見ます、しかし、それは本当ですが、リンデの商標の角の場合このクールでむしろ衝撃的に見えます、薄い灰色の色。[/url]
[url=http://www.eevance.com/News/f062936a96d3c8bd.html]すべての通り、腕時計は小さい不思議な彫刻家の創建アーティストウィラード維岡マイクロ。多くの細い点ともっと見るタイプ片、検査を私達の手で1型の文章はここで。この件が黒くて、彼を飛び出してそれからカードと彼の作品は明らかガラスを通して統合一面を例に、画像上の湖。同協会は明確には間違いない:それはAさんといいました。週知のトリックは、カードは、その魔法のように飛ぶ。 アクアノウティックコピース これは1つの執行はフランスの「激浪派の芸術家に敬礼」ロバート、誰が作った作品としての監督、彫刻家で、と事件のマスター。[/url]