Today is the Florida Republican primary, when grandmothers across the state will vote on whom they like better: Mitt Romney, who looks like the hedge fund manager their granddaughter married, or Newt Gingrich, who looks like the guy who tried to finger them in the hot tub. It may be a tough day for Newton.* Fortunately, he has a comprehensive plan to expand his appeal beyond just, you know, munitions factory owners. Speaker Gingrich is for everybody, and everybody enjoys hip hop. Seriously, there is a pro-Gingrich rap song now, and that’s it—he was the last one. Props to Ben al-Fowlkes for the link.
The provenance of this track is unknown. Presumably, it sprang unbidden from the barrio culture of Miami as the logical consequence of young urban people’s love for Gingrich and his message that they don’t know how to work. Either that or a child wrote it. Aficionados of the rap will note that this particular jam employs some of the lazier tropes of the genre. Sample lyrics:
N to the E to the WT
Newt Gingrich taking over these streets,
Is you ready for it yet?
I don’t think so, where you at?
Obama about to step out the White House,
Gingrich gonna get in the White House
He gonna have his wife, his spouse,
Yeah, you know without a doubt
It’s like when the tire store makes a rap. As Ben pointed out, these lyrics seem comically vague about who will ascend to the White House with Gingrich. He will bring “his wife, his spouse.” Probably it will be Callista, but that is not so certain as to make rhyming her name a wise use of time.* Also dubious is the assertion that Gingrich is “taking over these streets.” I can see him literally taking over the streets—say, by imposing martial law—but the odds of him running a ground-up campaign that begins on the corners are low. I guess technically the Vegas strip is a street.
Given his recent talk about Obama being a food stamp president and children in inner-city schools needing jobs, it seems possible that Newt Gingrich is worried about black people. This rap jam is therefore the next logical step, both in his attempts to appeal to urban voters and in his systematic alienation of same. There are certain demographics that the Republican Party cannot reach. Like Michael Steele’s hilarious promise to bring the GOP message to “urban-suburban hip hop settings,” the Gingrich rap is a reminder that the architects of Republican politics would like to speak to black people. They just don’t know any.