Trump threatens to tell us what he really thinks


Donald Trump seems poised to give us the general-election campaign we wanted all along, in which he goes bananas and tears apart the Republican Party before—this part is really important—losing. Yesterday, Paul Ryan told Republicans on a conference call that he would no longer campaign for Trump and direct his energy toward protecting their majority in Congress instead. Although he did not withdraw his endorsement, the announcement was widely understood to capitulate the presidency, and narrowly understood to betray the nominee. Trump himself took the narrow view. This morning, he used Twitter to issue an ominous…promise? Threat? Status update? You can decide what this is:

It is nice. I assume he means he can finally focus on detailed policy proposals and rebuilding the dignity of the working class. But maybe he’ll just bash Muslims.

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That was fast

Missouri congressman and Republican senatorial candidate Todd Akin, with novel-tie

On Sunday, Todd Akin (R-MO) opined that if you really hadn’t wanted that man to penetrate you, you wouldn’t have gotten pregnant. By yesterday afternoon, multiple Republican groups had withdrawn their support and asked him to leave the senate race. It turns out you can’t say absolutely anything you want into a microphone in the United States of America, despite the occasional impression to the contrary. Now, approximately 48 hours after he tried to explain why he believes women who have been forcibly impregnated by strangers should have to bear their children, Representative Akin has produced an apology. Forgiveness video after the jump.

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Perry leaves race, endorses Gingrich

"Is he the fat one? Yeah, what the fuck."

It was a classic story of the cruelty implicit in the American dream: Rick Perry, born son of struggling ranchers and once a serious contender for President, is now reduced to being the millionaire governor of Texas. His meteoric rise A) lasted about a week and B) only made his fall more vertiginous—and all for the simple crime of never knowing what he was doing. Perry has formally withdrawn his candidacy for the Republican nomination and, in one last act of electoral incompetence, instructed his followers to support Newt Gingrich. That’s like your dog running away and, as he goes, suggesting that you play fetch with the microwave. In a completely unrelated story, it turns out that Rick Santorum actually won Iowa.

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