Combat! - Page 80 of 406 - A blog by Dan Brooks

And a super Tuesday to you, sir!

By Dan Brooks in Democratic Candidates, Republican Candidates March 1, 2016 1 Comment

Arthur Digby Sellers in his iron lung

History will be made today, and I’m not just talking about this blog’s most obscure Lebowski reference. I’m talking about Super Tuesday—the finest Tuesday in the land, after Taco Tuesday, when 11 states hold their primaries and determine who is a viable candidate and who is Ben Carson. This year’s Super Tuesday is especially exciting. On one side of the aisle, the Democratic Party is poised to nominate either the first woman or the first socialist Jew. Which will it be? The woman, because she hasn’t threatened to disrupt the richest industry in America. But maybe something surprising will happen, and the socialist Jew will catch up.

The Republican nominating contest is even more thrilling. Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz are locked in a game of chicken, but it’s the kind of chicken where you both drive toward a cliff. Ben Carson is locked in a refrigerator at the dump. And Donald Trump, the billionaire reality TV star who announced his candidacy by calling America’s largest immigrant population “drug dealers and rapists” at a mall, is poised to destroy the Republican Party. Unless my dad finds a genie and causes John Kasich to win all eleven states, today is probably the day Trump clinches the nomination. Our outcomes from there are soft fascism, woman president and/or third party.

Today is a watershed no matter what happens. We’ve talked a lot about politics this year, and I keep making secret plans to knock it off after this election is over. You’ll notice, if you look at the most popular posts widget to your left, that none of them is about politics. But god dammit, this is the weirdest election of my lifetime. It’s way weirder than 2012. Whatever happens today, tomorrow is going to look a lot like history.

Gawker induces Trump to retweet Mussolini

By Dan Brooks in Republican Candidates February 29, 2016 0 Comment

I’ll start with the white salad and move on to the Trumpolini with crabs.

Early Sunday morning, Donald Trump’s twitter account retweeted this quote from Italian fascist and humorous World War II adversary Benito Mussolini:

“@ilduce2016: “It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.” – @realDonaldTrump #MakeAmericaGreatAgain“

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 28, 2016

This prank was the work of Gawker’s Ashley Feinberg, who created a bot account called @ilduce2016 that tweets quotes from Mussolini but attributes them to Donald Trump. It’s kind of funny, although the formatting of this particular tweet makes it look like @ilduce2016 was only tagging Trump, not citing him. But no matter: Trump saw this quote and thought it was insightful, plus maybe flattering to him, and he retweeted it to his 6.5 million followers. We can start calling him The Deuce now, right?

Friday links! Retreat into pop culture edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links February 26, 2016 0 Comment

Speak no evil, see no evil, wait until the time is right and then they’ll all be sorry

Last night’s CNN Republican Debate among Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz and two extras devolved into a crosstalk act. Rubio went glib and negative to attack Trump, a strategy akin to finding an alligator on the putting green and tackling it into a pond. Senator Cruz continued to speak in that tone of voice a percentage of voters don’t recognize as lying. Their combined light burned pretty dim, although it threw off a pleasing heat. Today is Friday, and unless something exciting happens on Tuesday, Donald Trump is going to be the Republican nominee for president. Won’t you retreat into pop culture with me?

Ravalli County to ban Syrian refugees, though none want to go there

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized February 25, 2016 0 Comment

Google image search: Ravalli County

Last week, the Ravalli County Commission hosted a public meeting on the issue of Syrian refugees. According to the Missoulian, 500 or so residents turned out to express their overwhelming opposition to letting them settle around Hamilton. “ISIS will come after our women,” the gothically named Hollis Poe warned. State Rep. Nancy Ballance (R-Hamilton) told the crowd that refugee resettlement is “big business,” and the organizations that do it take in millions of dollars a year. The commission read a draft of its letter to the US Department of State opposing the admittance of Syrian refugees to Ravalli County, on the grounds they might be terrorists. The crowd ate it up.

There were only two flaws in the commission’s plan. For one, the State Department doesn’t control where Syrian refugees go. Once they’re allowed into the United States, refugees can go where they please, just like anyone else with a visa. Also, the number of Syrian currently trying to settle in Ravalli County stands at zero. As Chris Love of Corvallis pointed out, refugees generally want to go where there are jobs. Ravalli County has few of those, unless coming to Missoula on Friday night and driving a lifted truck up and down Higgins is a job.

But I applaud the commissioners’ decision to get out ahead of this thing and hold public hearings against Syrian refugees now, while there aren’t any around. While they’re at it, the commission should ban all sorts of people who don’t want to come to Ravalli County. You can read about my ideas on that front in this week’s column for the Missoula Independent. We’ll be back tomorrow with Friday links!

Is the GOP broken or finally performing its function?

By Dan Brooks in Republican Candidates February 24, 2016 0 Comment

Donald Trump in Nevada and purple tie

Donald Trump won the Nevada Republican Caucus yesterday, with a slightly larger share of the vote than Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio combined. He’s won in the South, in New England, and now in the West, and he damn near won in Iowa. Unless something completely different happens six days from now—massive Super Tuesday party at my house, you guys—he will win the Republican nomination. One way for something different to happen would be if a candidate now vying for second place dropped out and threw his support behind the other. But that seems unlikely when one of those candidates is Ted Cruz, who I’m sure is fully prepared to accept Rubio’s endorsement for the good of the party.