Remember yesterday when I was like, “come back tomorrow for Friday links?” I was just messing with you, bro. By the time you read this, I will be at my brother’s commencement, supporting my family and only coincidentally shirking my duties. There are no Friday links today. It may not even be Friday, for all I know. You can probably console yourself, however, by watching these assholes overthrow the US government. Unless these assholes are right, and the original assholes are running a false flag operation to ensnare other assholes who trust them. I seriously lost several hours this week untangling the web of imagined conspiracies and counter-conspiracies that is the collision of the Truther movement and Operation American Spring. But man, I can’t wait for the economic boom after all federal taxes are abolished. I’m going to go ahead and post this Thursday night and assume it will all happen according to plan.

Greetings from Missoula International Airport, where air travel remains the vexing ordeal that God decreed. While I watch the person in front of me stare blankly at the self check-in screen, how about you read my latest column in the Missoula Independent. It’s about how Montana’s Castle Doctrine law selects for the people most likely to abuse it, but I don’t want to spoil the surprise. The surprise is that I shot you because you walked into my garage. We’ll be back tomorrow with Friday links.

There is no Combat! blog today, as I have contracted illness from a toddler and must prepare for death. How is it that a baby could survive this cold and I cannot? Answer: the baby takes naps every four hours. I intend to do the same, not because I hope for a cure, but simply to escape. By body is like an episode of Double Dare right now. Pity me. You might also read this article about Tea Party activists and their omnidirectional suspicion, which now includes other Tea Party groups. I was all set for a narrative of groundless paranoia, but it turns out that grassroots conservatives have reason to feel betrayed. Tea Party Express, for example, raised $8 million this election cycle and spent $7.5 million on operations. It’s almost as if the ill-defined political movement that hates both parties and hardly put any candidates in national office has attracted hucksters. We’ll be back tomorrow with more groundless speculation, but longer.