You haven’t experienced New York until you’ve explained it to an eight year-old. For the first time in my life, I feel like I possess wisdom. Granted, it’s “numbered streets run East-West”- and “East and West are two cardinal directions”-level wisdom, but still. I’m imparting it. What I am not doing is writing blog posts, because we’ve got a dense itinerary of sights to see. There is no Combat! blog today, and I am exhausted. While I work the airplane out of my neck, how about you tweet “fuck me daddy” at the Pope? That’s what teenagers do, apparently. Just look at this beautiful series of sentences from Vice’s Broadly:
“I do it mainly because it’s funny but also as like a social commentary?” said Will, a self-identified “teen who tweets ‘fuck me daddy’ @ the pope.” Lindsay, a 17 year-old who has a separate Twitter for “political commentary” in addition to her personal account, said she responds to the Pope with a request to be fucked “every time” he tweets.
Always put a question mark after the phrase “social commentary.” The internet is an unprecedented tool that reflects centuries of advancement in science and engineering. Teens use it to harass the pope, and I use it to make excuses. We’ll be back tomorrow, probably with something very much like this.