Did you know that in addition to being a suspiciously handsome writer, I am also the world’s greatest boyfriend? In the last 24 hours, I installed a washer/dryer in my girlfriend’s home and replaced the knob and deadbolt assembly on her front door. Oh yeah—I’m also taking her and her eight year-old son to New York City tomorrow. So I’m kind of busy today. I’ve got to do laundry and my taxes before I go, plus pack, plus acquire a long-term fish feeder, and…you know, it’s better if I don’t think about it. While I run around like the proverbial chicken who’s taking a child to New York, how about you read this funny feature Sarah Aswell wrote for McSweeney’s? Our whole writers’ group rules—rules at writing, at least. Our personal lives are all in disarray. Really just mine, I guess. I gotta go.