“Lenon” surpasses “Lennon” on Twitter, creating awesome metaphor

John Lennon, seen here in a phase of his expression that proved less popular than repeating how a woman loves you

As anyone who heard “Imagine” fifty times at the dentist will tell you, yesterday was the 30th anniversary of the assassination of John Lennon. The former Beatle has always been a cultural lightning rod, in part because of his intense popularity among people who do not otherwise like music, and in part because he was—in perhaps the most accessible, non-threatening use of the phrase ever—the smart one.* It was therefore satisfyingly ironic when, around 11:30 Eastern yesterday morning, “Lenon” eclipsed “Lennon” as a trending topic on Twitter. “Lenon” continued its meteoric rise throughout the day and, as of this writing, has knocked “Lennon” clean off the trending topics list. It was a watershed moment in the measurement of world stupidity. Either that or it was a startlingly apt metaphor for our national discourse, naturally synthesized by our most contemporary medium of communication—a free hint from the ghost in the machine.

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Is there such thing as illegal information?

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, calmly trying to interpret social cues

Deep in this New York Times article about Julian Assange’s sexual assault charges is another, more interesting story about Amazon’s decision to stop hosting the WikiLeaks website on its servers—a decision apparently prompted by a call from the Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee. According to committee chair Joe Lieberman, staffers asked Amazon to explain its business relationship with WikiLeaks. They didn’t tell them to terminate that relationship, of course; that would be borderline-unconstitutional, and certainly creepy. They just called the multibillion-dollar web-based retailer and pleasantly inquired how many of their web servers might be connected to the activities of a publicly-declared enemy of the US government. By sheer coincidence, Amazon shut down WikiLeaks’s site a few hours later.

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Tip: Hiding your sexuality requires being quiet

This blurry, oddly-tilted photo of Eugene Delgaudio taken from his website, www.objectivecorrelativesformyviewpoint.com

Back when we naively regarded the TSA’s invasive pat-downs as news that was actually happening to us, plenty of people advanced plenty of arguments against: they violated our civil rights, they were more show than security, a computer would see our wieners, et cetera. But only one person had the guts to say what we were all thinking: Loudoun County supervisor Eugene Delgaudio. By “we all,” I mean “we who are deeply conflicted, latent homosexuals,” and by “what,” I mean that the TSA pat-downs are part of the ever-creeping “homosexual agenda.” Seriously. Props to Fletch Dogg for the link. Delgaudio’s next-level crazy quote is after the jump.

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Exhaustive TSA searches fail to uncover news

Arnold Schwarzenegger's skeleton—my god, he's just a man.

I don’t know about you, but when I lined up for air travel this Thanksgiving, I expected the Transportation Security Administration to use lasers to look at my penis. At least, I thought giddily as I watched an old man at Missoula International Airport attempt to use his library card as identification, I will get an invasive pat-down. Imagine my disappointment, then, when all I had to do was listen to an extremely passive-aggressive lady scold me about the size of my toothpaste tube.* I had been led to believe that this was a big deal. I was told there would be x-ray screens. I was under the impression that this stuff was news, and my disappointment—at least in an impersonal, we-are-all-disappointed-now way—is the subject of this insightful article in yesterday’s Times. Invasive pat-downs to Mike for the link.

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NY Times profiles a very sad Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter pauses briefly because she thought she heard a strain of music, far away, sung to a little girl who doesn't live here anymore.

During this country’s innocence (Thriller—2008 A.D.,) Ann Coulter could reasonably be called the most unreasonable commentator working. The woman who titled two books about liberals “Treason” and “Godless” could once be relied upon for the most incendiary quotes and the most absurd exaggerations, but the climate of discourse has changed. Coulter, like O’Reilly, finds herself a weak sister in conservatism’s Thanksgiving dinner of nutjobbery, overshadowed by such relentless word-combiners as Glenn Beck and Michele Malkin. Suddenly, she is only middling crazy. Worse, her hyperbolic shtick has become standard not just for conservative commentary but for conservative politics. In a country where Joe Wilson screams that the President is a liar while he is addressing Congress, what is an Ann Coulter, exactly? The answer, at least as suggested by this profile in the New York Times, is “weirdly lonely and sad.”

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