Regarding Magic: The Gathering and Being Cool

Cards from the game Magic: The Gathering. Cool, right?

Yesterday, a Gizmodo editor named Alyssa Bereznak posted this article about her Ok Cupid date with former Magic: The Gathering world champion Jon Finkel. I’m sure you have a lot of questions now, all of which it will embarrass me to answer:

  1. Ok Cupid is an online dating site. I am a member, but only because I work at home and I’m really lonely and people find me unsettling and gross in real life.
  2. Magic: The Gathering is a card-based strategy game set in a fantasy world with, like, wizards. I played and enjoyed it all through college.
  3. Jon Finkel is arguably the best-known professional Magic player of all time, and he seems like a nice guy.

I feel like I just took my pants off at the bus station.

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Give him 34 minutes, and Kanye will give you a headache


That, gentle reader, is the full-length video for Kanye West’s new jam, “Runaway”—34 minutes of astronomical bodies, explosions, savantish pop culture slant rhymes (“too many Urkels on your team / that’s why your wins low”) and fine-ass mythological bitches. Props to everyone’s favorite Meghan Gallagher for the link. I’m not saying that Kanye has entered his Use Your Illusion phase, but the first thing he does in this video is drive a sports car, and the second thing he does is discover a new form of life. You have to watch the whole thing to appreciate it, but in case you don’t have a half hour to watch music videos on Monday morning, I’ve broken it down into its salient points after the jump.

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Being cool: People should want to kill you

The second coolest dog ever (Number one: Phife Dawg)

In keeping with its tradition of covering the news not just as it happens, like most papers, but also possibly before it happens, the Style section of the New York Times announced today that bulletproof vests are totally hip. The author of the article, Ruth La Ferla, says the phenomenon was likely spurred by the return of the Fox show 24, in which Jack Bauer often wears a bulletproof vest. I guess that’s possibly true—24 is a show on television now, and people are apparently wearing bulletproof vests for fashion now—in the same sense that eating breakfast makes it get lighter outside. As is usually the case with a style piece, you can’t prove it’s not happening. La Ferla points out that bulletproof vests are worn by counterterrorism operatives and wealthy plutocrats, as well as Hollywood moguls and 50 Cent. “So it may have been only a matter of time,” she writes, “before aspiring hipsters embraced the style — the sartorial equivalent of a safe room — as a badge of cool.” Because as any hipster will tell you, no one is cooler than 50 Cent, unless it’s the guy who runs Wuhan Steel Group.

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