American Spring somehow falters; US government remains intact

By Dan Brooks in Tea Party 1 Comment
The National Mall, site of OAS, on Saturday courtesy of Jacek

The Empire of Light National Mall, site of OAS, on Saturday courtesy of Jacek

It’s Monday, and the federal government appears to be functioning much as it did on Thursday. Either Operation American Spring has failed, or the mainstream media has predictably covered up the resignations of the President and congressional leaders from both parties, along with the repeal of virtually all federal taxes. My money is on the second one, because I am a self-deluding maniac. In retrospect, Col. Harry Riley’s prediction that “10 to 30 million” patriots would mass on the National Mall this weekend may have been unreasonable. But isn’t that what the Tea Party/constitutional patriot movement is all about?

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Psych!

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 1 Comment

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Remember yesterday when I was like, “come back tomorrow for Friday links?” I was just messing with you, bro. By the time you read this, I will be at my brother’s commencement, supporting my family and only coincidentally shirking my duties. There are no Friday links today. It may not even be Friday, for all I know. You can probably console yourself, however, by watching these assholes overthrow the US government. Unless these assholes are right, and the original assholes are running a false flag operation to ensnare other assholes who trust them. I seriously lost several hours this week untangling the web of imagined conspiracies and counter-conspiracies that is the collision of the Truther movement and Operation American Spring. But man, I can’t wait for the economic boom after all federal taxes are abolished. I’m going to go ahead and post this Thursday night and assume it will all happen according to plan.

Combat! blog flies through air, is still kind of useful

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 0 Comment

Wing

Greetings from Missoula International Airport, where air travel remains the vexing ordeal that God decreed. While I watch the person in front of me stare blankly at the self check-in screen, how about you read my latest column in the Missoula Independent. It’s about how Montana’s Castle Doctrine law selects for the people most likely to abuse it, but I don’t want to spoil the surprise. The surprise is that I shot you because you walked into my garage. We’ll be back tomorrow with Friday links.

Is it wrong to be racist or to talk racist?

By Dan Brooks in Existential Dilemmas 1 Comment
Donald Sterling, the false eyes he uses to distract predators, and the false friend to distract death

Donald Sterling, the false eyes he uses to distract predators, and his false friend to distract death

New York Times ethicist Chuck Klosterman recently fielded a question about why, exactly, we were so pleased to see Donald Sterling stripped of his franchise rights by the NBA. Is it because he thinks in a racist manner, as his recorded comments revealed, or is it because he said those racist comments aloud? In the question of whether it is wrong for Sterling to have racist thoughts or merely wrong for him to speak them, Klosterman opts for both. It’s a carefully reasoned answer, as usual, but it declines to address a larger question—perhaps wisely. To wit: if we accept that racism is bad, is it only unethical to express or act upon racist ideas? Or are the very thoughts themselves immoral?

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Miracle Whip still the sandwich spread for rugged drifters

By Dan Brooks in advertising 2 Comments

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxTA4iq98lw

Back when Combat! blog was young and wild, we discussed Miracle Whip’s “Don’t be so mayo” campaign, which positioned the Depression-era mayonnaise alternative as a uniquely millennial condiment. On the heels of that success, Chicago’s mcgarrybowen agency has launched the “Miracle Whip and proud of it” campaign, which further distinguishes the Kraft sandwich lube consumer from the man in the gray flannel suit. The ad above, entitled “Drew’s sandwich,” reminds us that Miracle Whip aficionados live in a kind of shadow society, a fraternity of outlaws who acknowledge one another with smoldering looks. Miracle Whip is for badasses. Put it in your mouth and shut up.

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