Urban Outfitters CEO puts “facts” in quotes, enters realm of phantasm where nothing is real

By Dan Brooks in Close Reading 0 Comment
An apparently bloody Kent State sweatshirt Urban Outfitters promoted in an email blast.

An apparently bloody Kent State sweatshirt Urban Outfitters sold on its website

Last week, Urban Outfitters became the object of public outcry when it offered for sale on its website a Kent State University sweatshirt that appeared to be stained with blood. For those of you who shop at Urban Outfitters, Kent State was the site of a Vietnam-war protest that become a massacre when the National Guard opened fire on unarmed college students. So the sweatshirt is funny and timely. Nevertheless, CEO Dick Hayne felt compelled to defend Urban Outfitters in an email to employees:

In the last 24 hours we have received a lot of negative publicity and many of you have received communication from friends, family members or those outside the URBN community regarding a Kent State sweatshirt for sale on urbanoutfitters.com that was mistakenly identified as “bloody.” We wanted to address this with our community and provide some “facts.”

Discussion of what it might mean to put “facts” in scare quotes after the jump.

Continue reading

Friday links! Nineties nostalgia edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links, Uncategorized 2 Comments

I didn’t realize how 90s the 90s were until they were gone and I was old. Remember when soda was extreme, thumb rings were hip, and carbs were called “carbos?” Neither do I, really, although I do remember the moment I understood that the word “extreme” had lost all meaning. Fortunately, the good people poison merchants at Coca-Cola have brought back Surge for sale on Amazon, at the reasonable price of $14 per 12-pack. Now you can have a Surge Movement, too, just like the t-shirt on that aging ponce suggests. Today is Friday, and everything old is new again. Won’t you recover from the Reagan era with me?

Continue reading

What’s wrong with internet comments?

By Dan Brooks in Contemporary Media 4 Comments
A person who has named himself COMMON SENSE calls for a sex criminal to be raped and murdered.

A person who named himself COMMON SENSE calls for a sex criminal to be raped and murdered.

First, the good news: the alleged pervert wanted in connection with nine Missoula lewdnesses since last summer has been named by the police. His name is James St. Goddard. If you see him, please call the police and then break line of sight so he doesn’t masturbate to you. Sexual assault is never funny. But I think we might agree that some of St. Goddard’s schemes muddled the line between crime and comedy:

During the sixth incident on Nov. 7, 2013, a female student was approached by the man as she was walking down the stairs in the Language Arts Building. Prosecutors allege St. Goddard offered to help her carry a box, but pretended to trip when he reached the bottom of the stairs. While he was on the ground, he allegedly looked up her skirt and grabbed her buttocks with one hand and her crotch with the other, while attempting to pull up her skirt.

At press time, this master criminal remains at large.

Continue reading

Missing cat

By Dan Brooks in Existential Dilemmas 3 Comments

Blurry Cat

Something nice about living in a small town is that one person can make a difference. I like to put up flyers that say MISSING CAT over a blurry picture—just the outline of a cat running past a snowman or whatever. I like to get everyone out into the neighborhood, looking for cats. When someone calls the number on my MISSING CAT flyer, I don’t answer. I think about how many people have pets they love now because of me.

“Who was missing a cat, after all?” I say. But never into the phone—I only watch it ring.

Continue reading

Ravalli judge: Casey Allen “managed to impregnate herself”

By Dan Brooks in Montana Politics 1 Comment
Ravalli County District Judge James Haynes will preside over Allen's endangerment trial.

Ravalli County District Judge James Haynes will preside over the trial of Casey Gloria Allen.

In August, Judge James Haynes denied a request for postponement in the trial of Casey Allen, the 21 year-old Ravalli County woman charged with felony endangerment after failing a drug test while pregnant. According to court transcripts reported by Keila Szpaller of the Missoulian, Haynes said Allen’s pregnancy was not the court’s responsibility. Quote:

I don’t know why I should have to scurry around, change my trial schedule. We have this woman who has managed to impregnate herself, plus she’s got these criminal charges. Her decision to have a child in the middle of this is her decision. It’s not society’s responsibility to take up the cause.

In keeping with his argument that Allen’s unborn child is not society’s responsibility, Haynes dismissed the child endangerment charge against her remained immune to irony. Brief discussion of where babies come from after the jump.

Continue reading