Name this famous painting that is also the subject of a quiz at Riverdale Country School and win a prize in the comments section.
Isn’t the government a drag? I understand that we need one in a vague, civics class sort of way, but from day to day the whole structure seems gratuitous. Other people clearly need a government. Maybe it’s just the location of my personal apartment, but other people can’t seem to go a day without trying to build a smoker in their house or getting drunk and punching each other or filling a milk jug with gasoline.*
You and I, on the other hand, are completely self-governing. We don’t need cops or meat inspectors to keep us in line, and as a result the government is to us an endless series of clerks and taxes. Like the actual rules of Monopoly, it needlessly complicates a game that everyone already knows how to play. What we should do, you and I, is form a political party dedicated to reshaping the government according to our own personal needs. Things have been going fine around here without government intervention, so I propose we have stamps and an army and otherwise no government at all. I am not alone. This week’s link roundup is chock full of people who are operating without governments, and one guy whose plan is to grab the government and break it. Won’t you enjoy the war of all against all with me?
Miracle Mike Sebba sent me this wonderful dispatch from Zuccotti Park, where organizers have found something they like even less than relationships of command: drum circles. Yesterday, the General Assembly passed a resolution limiting drumming at the Occupy Wall Street protest to two hours a day. Previously, drum circles had been going for approximately 10 hours a day, which is not only maddening but also has the potential to get the whole group kicked out of the park. On the other hand, drums are natural. “They’re imposing a structure on the natural flow of music,” complained 18 year-old Seth Harper, who had apparently come to the protest to do two things: play in a drum circle and convince people that 18 year-olds shouldn’t be allowed to vote. Now he’s all out of drum circle.
I am of the opinion that there are two legitimate functions of government, and one of them is to make my neighbor stop playing his goddamn djembe. The other one is to take him to jail when he hits his wife. After a funding dispute between the Shawnee County prosecutor and city administrators, Topeka decriminalized domestic abuse for a month. This maneuver forced the county to prosecute misdemeanor domestic abuse—assault is not a felony if you live together—which now fell only under state law. It also let about 30 abuse suspects go free while the prosecutor’s office got its act together. That same office is expected to lay off a third of its staff due to budget cuts. So now is a great time to flaunt the rule of law in Topeka while physically harming someone you claim to love.
Bleak, right? But at least Topeka still kind of has municipal government. A few months ago, we discussed Harrisburg, Pennsylvania’s plan to sell parking enforcement rights to a for-profit company in order to alleviate the city’s budget woes. It turns out they opted to declare bankruptcy instead. Harrisburg is broke, and if they owe you money you might not get it. Mayor Linda Thompson opposes this plan, on the grounds that it will be a “black mark” on the city’s reputation that hampers its ability to borrow money in the future. That’s the kind of reasoning that makes you wish she didn’t have a (D) after her name. Given that Harrisburg’s present financial fuckswamp is a direct consequence of one $150 million loan to fix a garbage incinerator—now ballooned to $310 million in municipal debt—the prospect of borrowing more money in the future sounds less than rad. Good news for old people, though: you can go back to burning your garbage in the yard, because no one will be paid to stop you.
Probably, the relaxation of regulations that comes form Harrisburg defunding its government will lead to a massive economic boom for the city, as individual entrepreneurs are freed to, you know, do whatever. People make more money when they don’t follow rules. Look at Herman Cain: he’s a millionaire, and your United States law means dick to him. According to FEC filings, the Cain campaign spent over $36,000 in donor contributions to buy copies of his autobiography, which is titled This is Herman Cain! My Journey to the White House. Notice how many other book titles would be improved by adding the author’s name and an exclamation point. This is Anne Frank! My Journey To the Attic and This is Marcus Aurelius! Meditations are just two exciting possibilities. Seriously, though, Black Walnut is really trying to be President and not just angling for another book deal.
He can’t lose, either, because he’s developed the sure-fire strategy of blaming the unemployed for their joblessness during a time of rising unemployment. He also blames Barack Obama. If you don’t have a job it’s your own fault, but it’s the Presidents fault that people don’t have jobs. It’s kind of a confusing argument, but fortunately Stephen Colbert can explain it to us:
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That’s called showmanship, son. You’re probably going to need it.
that’s Raft of the Medusa, what do I win?!
For any Riverdale seniors who stumble onto this blog, The answer to every question on that quiz is “nature’s power over man.”
You’re both right. Conor, you win a Combat! blog t-shirt. Mike, you win a bold future in a city run by former Riverdale seniors.
Great find on the drum circle story, but you cut that Seth Harper quote way too short!
“The GA decided to do it … they suppressed people’s opinions. I wanted to do introduce a different proposal, but a big black organizer chick with an Afro said I couldn’t.” — Seth Harper
It’s bittersweet to read a report of Occupy WallStreet where they are facing the kind of realities that lead to people feeling left out. Bitter because, for a few moments, it looked like their system was organizing effective action while somehow still maintaining 100% enfranchisement, and sweet because it means those compromises are still necessary and we’re not all just bad at democracy in the greater society.
Complaints about imposition on the flow of free music sound ridiculous from where we sit. We understand that civil society requires us to make sacrifices to our drumming schedules. To us those bongo-playing freeloaders are just a joke, and what they have to say is senseless, short-sighted babble because they don’t understand this simple truth we all accept.
It must be a huge headache for the organized and hardworking folks in Zuccatti park trying to take effective action when stymied by freeloaders who have a poor sense of the bigger picture. It’s quite obvious that if they want the party to continue they can’t be pissing off everyone in the surrounding neighborhoods or have sanitation issues. Yet the freeloaders charge the only people who can bring effective change with oppression.
I would imagine the free market capitalist understands the same thing about progress, and is continually frustrated by everyone’s efforts to divide up a pie of wealth that he would gladly make bigger for everyone if people would just stay out of his way. In fact, it’s the exact same argument. The only debate is about the relative percent of freeloaders, whether it’s the 99% or some smaller amount.
P.S. Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you’ve already said that!
It’s bittersweet to read a report of Occupy WallStreet where they are facing the kind of realities that lead to people feeling left out. Bitter because, for a few moments, it looked like their system was organizing effective action while somehow still maintaining 100% enfranchisement, and sweet because it means those compromises are still necessary and we’re not all just bad at democracy in the greater society.
Complaints about imposition on the flow of free music sound ridiculous from where we sit. We understand that civil society requires us to make sacrifices to our drumming schedules. To us those bongo-playing freeloaders are just a joke, and what they have to say is senseless, short-sighted babble because they don’t understand this simple truth we all accept.
It must be a huge headache for the organized and hardworking folks in Zuccatti park trying to take effective action when stymied by freeloaders who have a poor sense of the bigger picture. It’s quite obvious that if they want the party to continue they can’t be pissing off everyone in the surrounding neighborhoods or have sanitation issues. Yet the freeloaders charge the only people who can bring effective change with oppression.
I would imagine the free market capitalist understands the same thing about progress, and is continually frustrated by everyone’s efforts to divide up a pie of wealth that he would gladly make bigger for everyone if people would just stay out of his way. In fact, it’s the exact same argument. The only debate is about the relative percent of freeloaders, whether it’s the 99% or some smaller amount.
This is not a duplicate message.
Maybe if I delete my whole post I can get something up here?
Good so far…maybe just half my post now…
It’s bittersweet to read a report of Occupy WallStreet where they are facing the kind of realities that lead to people feeling left out. Bitter because, for a few moments, it looked like their system was organizing effective action while somehow still maintaining 100% enfranchisement, and sweet because it means those compromises are still necessary and we’re not all just bad at democracy in the greater society.
Complaints about imposition on the flow of free music sound ridiculous from where we sit. We understand that civil society requires us to make sacrifices to our drumming schedules. To us those bongo-playing freeloaders are just a joke, and what they have to say is senseless, short-sighted babble because they don’t understand this simple truth we all accept.
It must be a huge headache for the organized and hardworking folks in Zuccatti park trying to take effective action when stymied by freeloaders who have a poor sense of the bigger picture. It’s quite obvious that if they want the party to continue they can’t be pissing off everyone in the surrounding neighborhoods or have sanitation issues. Yet the freeloaders charge the only people who can bring effective change with oppression.
I would imagine the free market capitalist understands the same thing about progress, and is continually frustrated by everyone’s efforts to divide up a pie of wealth that he would gladly make bigger for everyone if people would just stay out of his way. In fact, it’s the exact same argument. The only debate is about the relative percent of freeloaders, whether it’s the 99% or some smaller amount.
The second half doesn’t make it past the filter. Oh well, I tried. Six times.
Penis enlargement.
That penis enlargement comment was right. on. the money.