Because of a series of free choices I made last night, which just happened to be the midpoint between my thirty-third and thirty-fourth birthdays, Combat! blog was Combat? Blearrgh! all day. Do you sometimes miss work because of drinking? I do apparently, and I think we can all agree that my new life as an alcoholic will be even more exciting than what has come thus far. The only hitch is that I never want to drink alcohol again, but I’m sure that will change as I get alone-er. Good news on that front: I did get the number of a young lady who had accumulated so many drink tickets that as I was leaving she won a snowboard in a raffle, and as soon as I learn her name, we will be in business. While I regain homeostasis, how about you read this fascinating article about how you kill a religion? You say you wouldn’t, but what are you gonna do when religion kicks down your door in the middle of the night and starts menacing your family? If you’re picturing Southern Baptist in this hypothetical, it’s because you’re a racist. I know—I’m an alcoholic.