Watch Stephen Miller practice TFA

White House policy adviser and bop bag model Stephen Miller

Donald Trump is the president now, and no amount of controversy or trying to wake up will change that. Yet he continues to insist that voter fraud tainted the election he won. Speaking to senators last week, he said that thousands of illegal voters were bussed in to New Hampshire to swing the state for Hillary Clinton. On Friday, Federal Elections Commissioner Ellen Weintraub called on Trump to provide her office with evidence of this scheme. He did not. Neither did his adviser/mouthpiece Stephen Miller, who appeared on ABC News Sunday morning to produce this masterpiece of dishonesty:

So now we need a term for the converse maneuver to Total Fucking Denial: Total Fucking Assertion. Stephanopoulos keeps returning to the question of whether the Trump administration has any evidence that voter fraud occurred, and Miller keeps insisting that everyone knows it did.

“This issue of bussing voters into New Hampshire is widely known by anyone who’s worked in New Hampshire politics,” he says for the first time at :30. Over the next three minutes, he repeats this claim again and again. He also trots out the familiar statistics without substance—the remark that “millions of people are registered in two states” is particularly exasperating, since that doesn’t mean any of them travel to two states to vote on election day—but he keeps returning to his central thesis: everyone in New Hampshire knows this is happening. Everyone knows it so much that Miller doesn’t need to cite evidence. But everyone knows it. It’s very serious. Everyone knows it’s happening.

In Total Fucking Denial, the liar insists that something isn’t true despite overwhelming evidence. The man in this video—which contains swearing, mild violence, and a lot of high-register whining—gets caught going at his neighbor’s doorknob with pliers and a screwdriver but insists he wasn’t breaking in. There was something wrong with his door, he says, and he needed to take apart someone else’s to see how doors work. That’s TFD. There’s no way our burglar is going to convince the man behind the camera that he was only teaching himself locksmithing, but that’s not his objective. He realizes the situation will get worse not when the cameraman realizes he’s lying—since that’s already happened—but only when he admits he’s lying. That’s what TFD is for: situations in which the worst outcome only happens when you acknowledge the lie.

Miller takes a similar tack in the clip above. But his version of Total Fucking Assertion enjoys an advantage over TFD, in that you can’t prove a negative. Stephanopoulos cannot prove that voter fraud in New Hampshire didn’t happen. He can only demand evidence for Miller’s dubious claim that it did. Miller doesn’t have that, but he knows one weak form of evidence is just saying something over and over. He keeps repeating that “everybody knows” thousands of people were bussed in to New Hampshire to vote illegally. Stephanopoulos doesn’t believe him, but some people watching at home probably will.

That’s the other difference between TFD and Total Fucking Assertion: TFA is for an audience. If the last year has taught us anything, it’s that you don’t need evidence to convince a lot of people. You can just keep repeating the same baseless claim, and eventually it will become well-known enough that it stops being a question of true or false and becomes a question of Republican or Democrat, real news or fake news, pro-Trump or anti-. Once people decide that a statement is political, they’re willing to believe anything. That’s what Stephen Miller is exploiting here, because he is a bad person. I hope he runs out of sleep medicine and has to think about it.

Costa articulates Carson/Trump “nightmare scenario” for GOP

Images into which dicks must be Photoshopped immediately

Images into which dicks must be Photoshopped immediately

Beware the autoplay video with sound on the other end of this link, but a new CBS News poll finds that Ben Carson has pulled even with Donald Trump in Iowa, and that Trump holds big leads in New Hampshire and South Carolina. In case a part of you still hopes, third place in Iowa and South Carolina is Ted Cruz. Those numbers are interesting, but the kicker is various other candidates’ satisfaction ratings: about half of Iowa Republicans say they would not be satisfied with Bush, Chris Christie, or Rand Paul as the eventual nominee. Of course, they feel that way about Trump, too. The GOP is fractious as a sack of wine glasses right now, and its two most ridiculous candidates are surging forward apace.

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CARLY super PAC does not coordinate with Fiorina, does set up events

Carly Fiorina pauses to remember the truth.

Carly Fiorina pauses to remember the truth.

According to the precedents set by Citizens United v. FEC, so-called super PACs can raise and spend unlimited amounts of money in support of presidential candidates, so long as they remain independent from their campaigns. The key word in the Supreme Court’s decision has become “coordination”: the super PAC cannot work with campaign organizers to direct how its money and volunteer hours are spent. In practice, “coordination” has become impossible to prove—partly because super PACs and candidates cynically twist the spirit of the law, and partly because the Federal Elections Commission has lost its ability to enforce its own rules. That’s why the super PAC Carly For America—which received a letter from the FEC saying its name could not include a candidate’s name—changed to CARLY. Problem solved.

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New poll finds Sanders beating Clinton in New Hampshire

Hillary Clinton says a word that starts with F.

Hillary Clinton says a word that starts with F.

Bad news for things that will inevitably happen anyway: Bernie Sanders is beating Hillary Clinton among primary voters in New Hampshire, according to a Boston Herald poll. Sanders led Clinton 44% to 37% last week, in a poll that had her leading him 44% to 8% back in March. If these trends continue, Sanders will roar into the November general with 119% of the vote. Then a 25 year-old will hijack his victory speech to promote her hashtag. But that’s all fancy, of course. Clinton is going to be the Democratic nominee, and any criticism of her—to say nothing of support for Sanders or, please God, Joe Biden—is tantamount to voting Republican. You don’t want Scott Walker to be president, do you? Clinton 2016: Don’t Fuck This Up, America.

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Ted Cruz to New Hampshire three year-old: “Your world is on fire”

Sen. Ted Cruz (R–TX), seconds before his charades team fails to guess "smarmy"

Sen. Ted Cruz (R–TX) and what facial recognition software would call a smile

Personality profiles often describe Ted Cruz as the smartest guy in the room, which makes him seem that much more cynical when he panders. Addressing a group of conservatives in New Hampshire Sunday, Cruz criticized “the Obama-Clinton foreign policy of leading from behind” and said that “the world is on fire.” This remark alarmed three year-old Julie Trant, who was presumably having a great Sunday already, and prompted the following exchange:

Trant: The world is on fire?

Cruz: Yes, the world is on fire. Your world is on fire.

[laughter]

Cruz: But you know what? Your mommy’s here and everyone’s here to make sure that the world you grow up in is even better.

Even better than on fire? Somebody give this man control of the US government.

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