With mouse and wife in North Korea

By Dan Brooks in Contemporary Media 5 Comments

Mickey and Minnie Mouse will perform the sex act as instructed.

North Korea is the funniest country in the world. The New York Times is the funniest newspaper in the world, but only in the way that your grandfather’s jokes are so out-of-character as to be invariably hilarious. Example: North Koreans Learn They Have First Lady. The woman seen with Kim Jong-un at various state functions has been identified on Central TV* as his wife. It explains why she was hanging around talking to generals and stuff. Boyfriends take note: if you have to wait for state-run television to introduce her, and you are not supreme dictator, you are going to hear about it later.

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The big one has a weak heart and is feminine

By Dan Brooks in Fascism 2 Comments

Kim Jong Il poses a problem. On one hand, he is an aggressive dictator, incrementally starving his people so he can continue to destabilize the rest of south Asia. On the other hand, he is hilarious. Look at him up there with his terrifyingly normal family in 1981, teasing the camera with some sort of Warren Beatty facial expression. The only person in the picture possibly more awesome is the child sitting next to him, who, as soon as the shutter clicks, will lunge forward and strike the photographer in the groin. He is Kim Jong Chol, and thirty years after this picture was taken, he will not get to run North Korea. Thirty years after this picture was taken, his father’s escaped personal chef will tell Chosun Ilbo that Jong Il can often be heard to say, “The big one has a weak heart and is feminine, but the young one is manly.” Props to everyone’s favorite Meghan Gallagher for the link.

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