Toby Keith, who did not serve in the military, and his dog tags
Did you hear? President Trump dropped the MOAB on Afghanistan, killing 36 ISIS fighters and presumably ending our 15-year war. “MOAB” stands for “mother of all bombs.” The 11-ton weapon loves all other bombs and just wants them to be happy, and even though it has different expectations for each bomb, it is behind every single one of them 100 percent. You know who else loves bombs? Fox and Friends. Here’s the video they put together for yesterday’s strike:
“The video is black and white,” Ainsley Earhardt says, “but that is what freedom looks like. That’s the red, white and blue.” It’s true that a tyrant could never bomb anyone. Freedom isn’t life, liberty, or the pursuit of happiness. It’s a giant explosion seen from 30,000 feet. It’s Geraldo Rivera and his Wario mustache saying that “one of my favorite things, in the sixteen years I’ve been here at Fox News, is watching bombs drop on bad guys.” Today is Friday, and the most comfortable people in the world love to watch other people get bombed. Won’t you experience hot, searing freedom with me?
The wrestling match between Tucker Carlson and his conscience enters round 426.
With a song in my heart and protein in my urine, I rise from my sickbed to write Combat! blog, sort of. I’m still very sick. But thanks to antibiotics, I am much less sick in the throat, albeit still pretty feverish and alarmingly sore in the kidney region. You don’t want to hear a minute dissection of my health problems, though. You want a minute dissection of Madison, Wisconsin’s decision to amend its anti-discrimination ordinance to include atheists. Or, as Fox and Friends describes it, Madison’s decision to make it illegal to discriminate against atheism. You see what they did there? Hang on—I have to throw up. Watch the video after the jump and I’ll meet you at the end.
Hank Williams, Jr. comports himself with the dignity of his office.
Hank Williams, Jr. appeared on Fox and Friends yesterday morning to offer his opinion of the 2012 GOP field and managed to compare President Obama to Hitler within the first 90 seconds. To be fair, he was explaining why it was a bad idea for John Boehner and Obama to play golf together—a move he called “the biggest political mistake of all time.” Those of you familiar with his hit song “Don’t Talk to Me About FDR’s 1937 Court-Packing Plan” know that it’s futile to argue with Bocephus about such matters. Hank Jr. did not directly compare Obama to Hitler; he merely said that the joint outing between the Speaker of the House and the President was like “Netanyahu playing golf with Hitler.” Then he added that “they’re the enemy.” When asked who, exactly, he shouted “Obama!” and then immediately endorsed Herman Cain. It makes sense that Hank Williams, Jr. is a Republican. His dad did make him a millionaire. Video after the jump.