Friday links! Two kinds of comedy edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links 4 Comments

Haven't seen this guy in a while.

Wednesday at the laundromat I encountered a woman who was, literally, washing the blood out of the clown suit. Because I am a naturally friendly person, I said, “Washing blood out of a clown suit, huh?” When that failed to elicit a response of shared humor, I said, “You know, like the joke?” In this way did I find myself in the position of having to tell a joke predicated on violent clown pedophilia to a complete stranger—and not just any stranger, but one who herself was, or was in love with, a clown. I mention this sad episode of aging bachelorhood to advance the thesis that there are two broad categories of humor: that which we undertake intentionally and that which we do not. In an effort to send you gliding into your weekend on a puff of blithe joviality, not to mention finish this shit quickly and get on to other things, Combat! blog presents instances of both types of humor, albeit with a preponderance of the former.

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Theory, practice to rematch in Rand Paul candidacy

By Dan Brooks in Reactionary Populism 3 Comments

Okay, not so much Rand Paul as Tommy Carcetti, but when you think about it...

Those of you who question the value of newspaper journalism should check out the New York Times’s torrential coverage of Tuesday’s midterm congressional primaries, which appear to portend a vast wave of anti-incumbent sentiment. The emerging narrative is one of Tea Party-style rage gone mainstream, at least in Arkansas, Pennsylvania and Kentucky—where GOP-chosen and Mitch McConnell-sponsored senatorial candidate Trey Grayson was defeated by Rand Paul. Yes, that Rand Paul. The man who has argued that the Federal Reserve, the Department of Education and pretty much all of the New Deal are unlawful infringements on the Constitution, who said in his victory speech that “capitalism is freedom” and declared himself a card-carrying member of the Tea Party, if only they issued cards, will now have to sell a specific, non yelling-based political platform to a general populace. Candidate Paul, welcome to compromise country, population: the rest of us.

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Muslim wins Miss USA, “political correctness” wins Mr. Stalking Horse

By Dan Brooks in Public Discourse 3 Comments

Which aspect of Rima Fakih's person virtually guarantees her social, financial and romantic success? That's right: she's a Muslim.

Remember when racists had to resort to totalizing theories about hygiene and dietary habits that could be easily debunked? “Barack Obama only wants to be President so he can increase his access to grape soda,” your grandpa would say from the couch, and everyone would leap to correct him while your mother burst into tears in the kitchen. Those were the salad days, before A) Xanax and B) political correctness, the phenomenon so vague that it explains any minority’s success better than an extra calf muscle ever could. Consider the case of recently-crowned Miss USA Rima Fakih. To the casual observer, she’s just an insanely hot chick—albeit one with six to ten male relatives who, when they see you talking to her on the train, will insist with terrifying intensity that you come to their barbecue. She’s also a Muslim. To a trained eye like Daniel Pipes, that makes her the latest example of political correctness run amok. And thus do we return to the best theory that ever happened to contemporary racism.

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Sarah Palin completes transition to Jeff Foxworthy

By Dan Brooks in Public Discourse 4 Comments

This picture chosen entirely for the logo on the podium. I am 32 years old.

This weekend, while the rest of us were chasing dogs around backyard volleyball courts and drinking beer, Sarah Palin was out there getting that money, like she do. On Friday, she appeared at the National Rifle Association’s annual meeting in Charlotte, North Carolina, where she read from her Blackberry a series of “You might be a redneck…” jokes that she found on the internet. First, let me say how glad I am that my father has added Sarah Palin to his email forward list. Second, the NRA seems to have paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to someone who is about to get a C in her high school speech class. In refuting the claim that the Tea Party is composed of people who are “violent or racist or rednecks,” Palin said that “I don’t really have a problem with the redneck part of it, to tell you the truth. I don’t. That’s fine with me.” She then glanced furtively at her watch before adding adding, “Yup. Fine and dandy. [Beat.] You betcha. Because we love America. [Pause, consternation.] America! [Applause.]”

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Being gay is a choice, says man trying desperately not to be gay

By Dan Brooks in Existential Dilemmas 3 Comments

Seriously, this is the best picture of George Rekers available. I defy you to find one on the internet that isn't just twelve big pixels and a mustache.

If you love the vague area between hypocrisy and irony the way I love the vague area between et cetera, you probably already know that George Rekers—psychologist, co-founder of the Family Research Council and general anti-gay crusader—recently took a vacation with a male prostitute he met on Rentboy.com. It should be stressed, here, that unlike most men who use male prostitution websites to purchase escorts for their Bahaman vacations, Rekers is not gay. It says so right on his website: “I am not gay and never have been,” just before the warning about “misleading media reports about Professor George Rekers” and slightly after the link to the section on “natural parenting versus gay parenting.” George Rekers is straight as a marching band major. It doesn’t matter what the media or his choice of a travel assistant with a “sweet, tight ass” or his endocrine system says. It matters what George Rekers says, because Rekers knows that sexual orientation is a choice.

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