Greetings from Minneapolis-St. Paul airport, which is as spacious and weirdly humid as it always is in my dreams. I have to spend the day with babies and security hires who have been given federal authority, so the blog sucks. Or does it? If you click on this link right here, you can watch a video of a brawl at the dolphin show in a Russian aquarium. It’s a real saga, and like any video of the social order breaking down in Russia, it contains several important themes—not the least of which is everyone’s inability to throw even one punch without falling into the pool. There are also several shots of the videographer’s girlfriend calmly explaining complex ideas in Russian, and it appears that the two sides have dressed in black and white, respectively, for our convenience. Enjoy, and remember that when a guy shoots a double on you without dropping to his knees, you’re not going to be able to pick him up by wrapping your arms around his waist, no matter how strong you are. I cannot emphasize that enough.
From this video we can make the following observations:
*Having seen countless Russian fight videos on the internet, and noticing the viral way the urge to kick someone–anyone–in the head seems to infect everyone in a 10 foot radius, the only way I would ever sit comfortably and film is, in fact, from across a 25 foot pool.
*A girl screaming has never helped stop a brawl because the part of the brain that’s between the ears isn’t functioning in a brawl. Please take note of this single Combatblog! female reader, because your wails will only spoil the audio if the event is being taped.
*If you want to start a strong fire, you build it in a windless, dry place. If you want to make a brawl last, you have it in a 5 foot wide, slippery space. But the best strategy of all is just to stand over the flames and pour gasoline, or, require the combatants to exit in the same narrow direction.
*Your double-leg take-down reference is what piqued my interest. I also noticed a couple soccer kicks and what appeared to be a friendly-fire leg-lock.
*Every video featuring Russians will have at least one male wearing black pants. Find one that doesn’t and you’ve found a video that’s mislabled.
Also do NOT attempt to exit the pool with your enemy standing above you unrestrained.