Compunctions: Bob Parsons

By Dan Brooks in consumerism, Uncategorized 5 Comments

A different photo of Bob Parsons

As our pageload times will attest, Combat! blog is hosted by GoDaddy, the world’s largest domain registration and webhosting corporation. I settled on GoDaddy after an exhaustive process in which I researched literally threes of hosting companies and went with the lowest bidder. If you choose GoDaddy, you’ll know where your $4.95 a month went. Their WordPress servers are notoriously slow, and I am routinely locked out of the administrative side of Combat! for hours at a time. Also, CEO Bob Parsons appears to be maybe not a great guy. I don’t know if you’ve detected this, but a lot of GoDaddy commercials have vaguely sexist overtones.

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Meanwhile, inside Michele Bachmann’s head

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 6 Comments

She will also make The Family Circus less preachy.

As Michele Bachmann’s presidential candidacy increasingly resembles a thing that is actually happening, we will probably see a surfeit of Meanwhile, Inside Michele Bachmann’s Heads. I’m basing this conjecture on the Palin Cycle, which taught us that I will lose interest in a given nutso church lady long after you guys have. I apologize in advance, both to you and to the panels before which people like me will undoubtedly be called should President Bachmann take office. You know she’s going to win, too, because she’s using a method time-honored by student council candidates across the nation: making promises about stuff she cannot control. Bachmann’s pledge to get the price of gas below $2 a gallon is the frozen yogurt machine in the cafeteria of national politics. Because she is more a bold visionary and less a person who connects her desires to specific actions, we don’t know Bachmann’s gas plan. But conveniently, Don Shelby over at MinnPost has compiled her options.

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Combat! blog to be eaten by bear

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 2 Comments

Hey, dudes. By the time you read this, I will be resting comfortably at the bottom of an ice crevasse, having gone to Glacier National Park for a camping trip. In the rare event that I survive, Combat! blog will resume on Monday. If I don’t make it back, I hereby delegate operation of the blog to Mike Thurau, who I presume is spending this week car-camping in the parking lot at Dave & Busters. See you next week, you bold, free Americans.

 

Friday links! Transcendent joys edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links, Uncategorized 2 Comments

Uncle Walt

It has been a week of transcendent joys here at Combat! blog, and one of the things we transcended was collecting links for Friday. You know I’ve been having fun for the last several days because my Evernote has not steadily filled up with internet articles, which initially presented a problem. Fortunately, joy—by which term I mean weirdo shit—is all around us. Today’s links are short, poorly articulated and striking in ways that thwart comprehension. They’re what the European Romantics called sublime, and the arbitrary unification of the sublime is what the American Romantics called transcendence. Around here, we just call it Friday. Drop your socks and grab your unkempt beards, because the transcendent brilliance of the internet is about to blow your face off. Believe it or not, it starts with Rick Santorum after the jump.

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Combat! blog flies through beers, is abuseful

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 1 Comment

As you might guess by the lateness of the hour, Le Blog Combat! is in Montreal, where everyone is super friendly and seems as if they appreciate our attempts to speak French by speaking Spanish without pronouncing the last three letters of each word. Also, a pint is a completely different quantity of beer here, and a liter of wine is the same quantity as everywhere but still much greater than you think. I threw up an entire yogurt parfait this morning. While I continue my cultural ambassadorship, how about you read this column from Paul Krugman about S&P’s recent downgrade of the US government’s credit rating. I have to go explain to the entire nation of Canada what Alka-Seltzer is.