What you get for $3.7 million

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 1 Comment

Lena Dunham, creator of Girls

As any Amish person will tell you, one of the best things about being alienated from popular culture is having something to define your values against. I do not like Ke$ha; ergo, when Ke$ha is materialistic and stupid, I am nuanced and wise. This phenomenon is made more versatile by ignorance. I am disconnected from radio and television, so by definition I don’t really know what’s on there. I can therefore impute to it any values I reject. It’s like the way the alien in Alien is really scary until you get a good look at it; your imagination makes it so. I have seen exactly one episode of Girls, and so Lena Dunham has come to embody everything I despise.

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Combat! blog collapses into disarray, possible anemia

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 2 Comments

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEdXhH97Z7E

 You know what happens when you come back from freelancer vacation? You get buried by freelancer work backlog, which has crushed my sleep-deprived brain and gently squeezed my plane-denuded immune system. There is no real Combat! blog today, although there is complaining. While I pity myself, how about you enjoy this video of from Real Actors Read Yelp? The best material on the internet is maybe found, as with Least Helpful. Lord knows it’s not being produced around here. I’ll be back tomorrow with more specious reasoning.

I drank alcohol, you guys

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 1 Comment

That bear is drunk!

Oh, man. I consumed alcohol last night in order to become intoxicated. I ate only tacos. I drank only more alcohol. Then I awoke with a medical-grade hangover and shouted into Spencer’s toilet. The toilet was unmoved. It has seen worse things than that. I remain deeply affected, however, and there is no Combat! blog today, because I am a drunkard. It turns out rarely drinking and doing hot yoga for a year leaves you woefully underprepared for LA Thanksgiving. While I spend my day in 72-degree convalescence, how about you watch this comeuppance?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlEzvdlYRes

We all get what we deserve.

Combat! blog flies through air, isn’t useful

By Dan Brooks in Uncategorized 1 Comment

The illusion of flight

In a just world, this would be a full post, and I would be writing it from Los Angeles. Also the executive officers of United Airlines would work in a salt mine where I would be a rabid bat. It doesn’t sounds so bad—shrieking, biting, nightlife—and it’s no worse than I deserve. Ours is not a just world, however, and I spent the night in Denver’s palatial airport Marriott. You would not believe the mechanical problem that grounded us. It had to do with the spring-loaded cover on the trash in the lavatory, and more specifically with the process of transmitting the paperwork that proved the damaged trash cover had been inspected. For this I lost a day of vacation. While I pity myself and await my yogurt parfait, how about you read this baffling instance of The Way We Live Now. I’ll be back tomorrow with a clearer view.