Friday links! Pleiotropy edition

A male guppy you totally want to bang because he looks like an orange fruit

A male guppy you totally want to bang because he looks like an orange fruit

Pleiotropy is the scientific term for when a single gene produces two unrelated effects. For example, male guppies like the one pictured above tend to be orange and have that spot on their tale—possibly because that color and pattern are sexually attractive to females, but mostly because they look like a piece of fruit. Props for the link to my girlfriend Lucretia, who can read and understand scientific articles much better than me. Nature has made wild male guppies orange not because it’s useful or sexy, but because breeding females mistake them for food. Today is Friday, and cause precedes motive in such a way that sense comes only after effect. Won’t you explore some terrifying coincidences with me?

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Friday links! And dot-com the wolves edition

A federal contractor performs a routine stop to listen to your voicemails.

A federal contractor performs a routine stop to listen to your voicemails.

Let us say, just for a second, that someone invented technology that allowed everyone on Earth to communicate with one another almost instantaneously. People could use this marvelous machine to say anything they wanted, and they could say it to just one person or broadcast their ideas all over the world. You couldn’t use it to exert force or shoot lasers or anything; the machine could only convey speech and the written word, plus pictures. Approximately 20 years after this machine is invented, a government announces it has the right to record and read, at its leisure, everything everyone uses the machine to say. It must do so to protect freedom. Does this government sound democratic to you? Today is Friday, and the wolves have come out. Won’t you shiver in the vast field of prey with me?

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Friday links! Crises of conscience edition

dog-shaming-hid-meat-1

There are two of you: the person you think you are, and the person who sees that person clearly. You can ignore your assessment of yourself; you can even forget about it for long stretches of time, but you cannot un-know it. Insofar as we spend most of our time faking people out and excusing ourselves, we are the people we claim to be. At one time or another, though, our honest assessments fill our heads, and we become the person who sees clearly. That person is a dick. Today is Friday, and our crises of conscience are in the mail. Won’t you put off opening the box with me?

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Friday links! Broken systems edition

The human digestive system

The human digestive system

Here’s the new cleanse I invented, in four easy steps:

  1. Do yoga four days a week and eat mostly vegetables and whole grains for several months.
  2. Stop all that and go to the airport Wolfgang Puck’s to eat macaroni and cheese originally prepared by Lady Bird Johnson.
  3. Fly on a plane to Iowa and eat as much turkey as you can in one sitting two sittings.
  4. Die.

I am currently between steps (3) and (4). Probably my cleanse will proceed as planned and finally remove all molecules from my body, but who knows? Today is Friday, and all systems are broken. Won’t you clench yourself with me?

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Friday links! Ethic of the ruling class edition

Sarah Palin is going home with one of you but has not yet decided whom.

Sarah Palin is going home with one of you, but she hasn’t decided which yet.

It makes sense that Sarah Palin would leap to stand with the guy from Duck Dynasty, since they’re both in the business of selling country people a certain noise. Country people, as you know, are locked in an Inherit the Wind-style war with city people for the future of this nation. Just like in 1925, rural communities are recoiling from the snobbery and moral degeneration of city life, defining themselves by the opposite values: authenticity, tradition, and self-reliance. Like the populists of the Dust Bowl, the country people of the 21st century are rising up, this time to throw their support behind the party of big business and old money. Today is Friday, and the ruling class has upped its game. Won’t you survey the quality with me?

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