Friday links! Strict realism edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links 2 Comments
Jesus rides into Bethlehem on a dinosaur, just like in Exodus.

Jesus rides into Bethlehem on a dinosaur (Exodus 4:20)

At this turning point in modern civilization, we must throw off what we merely wish were true and cleave to what is absolutely certain. Only by reasoning scrupulously according to the evidence at hand can we hope to grapple with the complicated problems of 21st-century living. Philosophy, sociology, climate science—these are exciting realms of conjecture, but in the end, they are only castles made of sand. Give me hard facts and established knowledge, i.e. the Bible. Today is Friday, and we can’t afford to live in a fantasy world much longer. Won’t you embrace realism with me?

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Friday links! Sounds of sodomy edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links, Uncategorized 0 Comment
A tractor pulls a pickup truck out of the mud.

A tractor pulls a pickup truck out of the mud.

Should children be exposed to the sounds of sodomy? That’s the (presumably rhetorical) question that an Irish anti-gay group asks in this pamphlet urging voters to oppose adoption for homosexual couples. Won’t somebody please think of the children while he’s railing hot twinks? And sure, people have a right to do things that we find unpleasant, but we shouldn’t have to confront any evidence of it. Today is Friday, and one man’s hot action is another’s clarion call. Won’t you try something a little different with me?

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Friday links! New Year’s retribution edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links 2 Comments
The first A. Ron Galbraith of 2015

The first A. Ron Galbraith of 2015

It’s not easy to make out, but the Post-It on the wall in that picture says “reserved for future parties.” That should be the official slogan of New Year’s Eve, assuming “it’s not easy to make out” has already been taken. I’m just joshing; the real theme is hope. Hope, of course, is the belief that the future will be good by virtue of not including everything that has already happened. Could we repudiate human experience any more cheerfully? Probably, if we had some goddamn Gatorade, but I will content myself with assuming I’ll have some later. Today is Friday, and I am a husk of my future self. Won’t you blow away into the weekend with me?

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Friday links! War on kitsch edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links 1 Comment
Nymphs and Satyr by William-Adolphe Bouguereau

Nymphs and Satyr by William-Adolphe Bouguereau

Kitsch is like pornography: I know it when I see it, and it’s all over my grandma’s house. Along with irony and existentialism, kitsch is one of those concepts that is often mentioned and seldom understood. It is bad, but everybody likes it. It is ineffable but easily identified. “Kitsch causes two tears to flow in quick succession,” Kundera wrote. “The first tear says: How nice to see children running on the grass! The second tear says: How nice to be moved, together with all mankind, by children running on the grass!” Today is Friday, and the ideas that once invigorated us now ease us comfortably along with them toward death. Won’t you rejoice in the commonplace with me?

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Friday links! Nevermore inside Michele Bachmann’s head edition

By Dan Brooks in Friday Links, inside Michele Bachmann's head 0 Comment
Rep. Michele Bachmman (R-MN) retires from Congress to devour her mate.

Rep. Michele Bachmman (R-MN) retires from Congress to devour her mate.

Beloved hilarious Representative Michele Bachmann has retired from Congress, ending or at least suspending one of Combat! blog’s longest-running categories. Her last official act appears to have been to urge President Obama to bomb Iran at the White House Christmas party. Earlier this week, she delivered a farewell speech in which she attributed America’s economic success to the Ten Commandments. Quote:

It could be no coincidence that this nation, knowing and enjoying the heights of such great happiness and such great prosperity, that it could be built upon that foundation of the Ten Commandments and by the law given by the God in whom we trust.

Can you believe she only legislated for eight years? Today is Friday, and even those most deeply committed to just sayin’ stuff must fall silent sometime. Won’t you keep the flame burning with me?

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