That is not Jay-Z in old-timey photographer Sid Grossman’s picture of Harlem, sent to me by old-timey pornographer Ben al-Fowlkes. It sure looks like Jay-Z, though. Either I am some kind of hair-toucher who does not notice subtle facial distinctions among people of other races, or that Depression-era Harlemite looks uncannily like Hov. The already alarmingly low level of can is reduced even further by the familiar idea of Jay-Z dressing up in old-fashioned luxury clothes to evoke a particular period in black history. Appearing in a wool suit and newsboy cap in Harlem is not something he did do, exactly, but it sure is the kind of thing he might do. Today is Friday, and the world is full of striking discrepancies. Most of it fits, and then one detail blows the whole thing into weirdo territory. Won’t you demand an impossible consistency with me?
Author: Dan Brooks
Stubborn def. dumb in the MT legislature
It’s a beautiful day in Missoula, but I have to stay inside with the windows tightly sealed against the ongoing workstorm. You would not believe how much I billed this week if I told you, but I have covered a year’s rent since May first. Money is useless to me now, but I have to keep grinding away to get it because…okay, I actually do not have a good reason why I don’t just tell all my clients to stick it. But I’m going to finish their work, because I’m selling reliability in addition to craftsmanship, originality—everything but customer service, really. All this meandering ends in the sad announcement that there is no real Combat! blog today. There kind of is, though, if you read my latest column in the Missoula Independent. It’s about how the Republican Party successfully blocked Medicaid expansion in Montana, even though it was federally funded and would have insured 70,000 people. House Democrats would have stopped them, but one of them accidentally voted wrong. It’s a saga, and I complained about it. We’ll see you tomorrow for Friday links.
Down in Kentucky, where we’re from
Last week, Kristian Sparks, age 5, shot and killed his two year-old sister Caroline with a rifle that had been given to him by his parents. The gun, a .22 marketed for children as My First Rifle, was kept loaded and standing in a corner of the Sparks home. Burkesville, Kentucky is the town where all this responsible behavior took place, and according to the Times, the people who live there don’t want to be seen as a symbol of America’s gun culture. A family friend says that “pointing fingers doesn’t really accomplish anything.” Three mourners at Caroline’s funeral attacked reporters across the street. And there’s this quote from county coroner Gary White:
Down in Kentucky where we’re from, you know, guns are passed down from generation to generation. You start at a young age with guns for hunting and everything.
That’s kind of a weird thing to say while standing in Kentucky.
Regarding Fuckface Von Clownstick
It’s the busy season here at Combat! blog, and the interns who write these posts on my behalf are prohibited from doing anything fun so they have more time to work. Before we all sink into a vortex of drudgery, though, I thought I’d draw your attention to Donald Trump’s satisfyingly uncool Twitter reaction to being called “Fuckface Von Clownstick” on The Daily Show. I submit that his series of tweets—which begins by calling people who picked up the hashtag “losers” and ends in attacking Jon Stewart for changing his name—encapsulates what is wrong with Trump’s personality. Also what’s wrong with the personality of a spoiled adolescent—your brain stops developing after you become the owner of a building in Manhattan, though, so that should not surprise anyone.
I more abstractly submit that the Von Clownstick Affair captures the ideal function of comedy in society. Donald Trump is a nuisance. Over the last few years, he’s run a vanity campaign for president and perpetuated one of the more baseless, destructive rumors in American political history. It’s not illegal to tell people without evidence that the president is not constitutionally allowed to be president, but it is irresponsible. In a free society, what do you do about wealthy narcissists? Enter Stewart, whose juvenile attack on Trump is not illegal either, but merely mean. Welcome the exchange of ideas, Mr. Trump. Your money is no good here.
Chuck Grassley’s Twitter a series of riddles
As you can see from the picture above, in which he takes the con position at the annual Symposium On the World, Chuck Grassley is very old. At 79, he has been a United States senator slightly longer than my brother has been alive. The invention of the internet happened shortly before he qualified for Social Security, and neither of Al Gore’s brainchildren pleases him much. Yet he uses them both. I presume he cashes his Social Security checks in nickels at the grocery store with only his customer loyalty card as ID, because his Twitter is baffling cipher. Props to Ben al-Fowlkes for drawing it to our attention.





