My brother recently forwarded me a spam email wondering if he had yet made his decision re: the important lunar transit. “To be honest I was hoping for some kind of contact from you either by email for through my web-page as we are getting closer and closer to this date,” it reads, “a vitally important day for you as it marks the beginning of a period of 6 months of chance and fortune when you will be living under the full and beneficial influence of our glorious satellite, the Moon.” Thus begins a striking amalgam ancient and modern bullshit, as contemporary business prose enters the house of astrology on the cusp of internet phishing. Long excerpt after the jump.
The global quantity of spam email has dropped by one fifth since Russian authorities launched an investigation of SpamIt.com, a Russian site that paid spammers to advertise online pharmacies. SpamIt was allegedly run by Igor Gusev, a 31 year-old Muscovite best known for repeatedly explaining the phrase “I run a website that pays the owners of automated email generators to promote online pharmacies” at cocktail parties. It turns out that’s all one word in Russian, and it sounds a lot like the word for “I am a total cock-gobbler.”