Least sympathetic man ever constructs even less sympathetic defense

The source of all Erzinger's suffering

About a month ago, we discussed Martin Joel Erzinger, the Solomon Smith Barney money manager who ran over a surgeon and then fled the scene—only to have his felony charges dropped by the Eagle County district attorney, who helpfully explained that he didn’t want to hurt Erzinger’s ability to make money. Those charges have since been re-filed, presumably as a result of massive outrage rays bombarding the Eagle County DA’s office and making the coke stick to the hookers. Recognizing that their client once again faces a PR disaster, Erzinger’s attorneys have constructed a new defense: his Mercedes was so new that its overpowering new Mercedes smell messed him up. Now to sit back and let the sympathy roll in.

Continue reading