Friday links! Cunning of the octopus edition

An octopus wearing a top hat, which turns out to be a surprisingly popular image

An octopus wearing a top hat, which turns out to be a surprisingly popular image

The octopus is the smartest animal. In terms of cunning, it goes octopus, weasel, crow, political consultant, fungus. Did you know that an octopus can fit through any hole larger than its eye? Did you know that it becomes much funnier if you refer to it as an “ockapus,” or if it wears a monocle? The octopus is more than just a wonder of nature, though. It is also a symbol for strange conspiracies, for the silent drifting of the alien and invisible just beneath us or, if we are unlucky, in our grills. Multifarious and mute, the octopus is mystery itself, disparate tentacles connecting at a consciousness we cannot hope to understand. In conclusion, the octopus is a land of contrast. Also, I am sick.

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Gingrich wins SC, moving one step closer to Throne of Destiny

Newton Leroy Gingrich wipes away tears of vengeance.

Today is a particularly hectic day around the Combat! blog offices—it turns out many of the interns have been contracting freelance work when they were supposed to be cleaning the octopus tank—but it’s probably for the best, since it will give us all more time to think about this. Newt Gingrich didn’t just win the South Carolina primary; he exploded the entire GOP nominating contest, leaving America’s registered Republicans to stand numbly as smoldering flakes of Romney drift down from the sky around them. Or he spent five million dollars of casino money to convince America’s third least literate state that he hates the last 30 years, too. We probably won’t know until the convention, which is what makes election season so fun. Please god, please make Newton Leroy Gingrich the 2012 Republican nominee for President. Also please let the interns find my octopus by nightfall.