Greetings from Washington DC, the hangover capital of our great nation! I have no idea what happened to my renal system last night. While I regain homeostasis, why don’t you enjoy this extremely half-assed collection of Friday links? They are united only in their profound uselessness, both to society and to the human spirit. They are also completely awesome and, since that’s how we roll, unsafe for work. Have I alienated both readers I’d retained up to this point? Then let’s get down to business.