Friday links! Fantasy of decline edition

Why would they keep trying to cross that aqueduct?

We’ve talked about it before, but it is critically important that you not fall into declinism. The fantasy that American empire has reached its sunset is both conceited and self-fulfilling. We won a war against Nazis during the Great Depression; probably we can get past having too many fat kids and needing to invent a kind of transportation other than the car. The only way we wouldn’t is if we all decided we were at the end of civilization and nothing we did like, matters. That’s how things stop working, and we can choose not to quit. Still, when you imagine the collapse of society into a Hobbesian war of all against all, it is kind of satisfying. The disintegration of Delta airlines, Lil’ Kim having to make the transition to actual whore—these are bitterly comforting ideas. It’s Friday, and our link roundup is split between images of decline and comforting reminders of who will suffer most of it happens. Don’t give in to declinism, though. Maybe just indulge it a little as you imagine Lena Dunham struggling to grow turnips.

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Tucker Carlson calls for execution of Michael Vick

Pictures into which dicks must be Photoshopped immediately

In an apparent effort to boost his popularity, conservative commenter and bow tie enthusiast Tucker Carlson has called for the execution of a likely National Football League MVP. Carlson was guest hosting Sean Hannity’s show on Fox News Tuesday night when he said that Michael Vick “should have been executed” for his dogfighting-related crimes three years ago. Whether this is the same as calling for the Eagles quarterback’s death—as our headline so cravenly suggests—is questionable. Obviously, the moment for a judge to hand down America’s first-ever death penalty for cruelty to animals has passed. One assumes, too, that when he went on the country’s most-watched 24-hour news network and said that should have happened, Carlson did not expect some sort of posse to rise up and—after he scrambled around and made it about 17 yards or so—kill Michael Vick in the street. Still: what if they did? Presumably, Tucker Carlson would feel bad. So why did he say it?

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