There is no Combat! blog today, so that I can make deadlines for paying work. If you guys wanted reliable Monday-morning posts, you should have sent me a bunch of Bitcoins or, better yet, hunks of gold. Precious, precious gold—but I digress. The point is that I need to do work, son, and nothing I write could surpass the thrilling mendacity of what’s already out there, anyway. For example, in the video above, Megyn Kelly assures us all that she was just joking when she insisted Santa was white. Her original declaration had all the hallmarks of humor: she said it with a straight face, no one on the panel laughed, and—the sure sign of a joke—it was about black people when none was around. But everyone attacked her for it, which just shows how society still has a pervasive bias against Fox News. Fox News can’t even get a cab at night, and has there been a Fox News president? Again I digress. Fortunately, it doesn’t matter what Megyn Kelly thinks about Santa. He’s still going to come to my house, drink the grape soda and Chili Cheese Fritos I set out for him, and leave me a bunch of wool socks. Maybe, if you’re good, he’ll leave you a Combat! blog tomorrow morning.