Now that Election Fever has passed, and we are left with only Election Post-Fever Palsy, it’s time to take stock of what we’ll miss. I personally miss the last campaign cycle in roughly the same way King Kong misses vaudeville, but it did have its highlights. There were the insane commercials, for example, which a slightly less hysterical electorate and some version of the DISCLOSE Act will hopefully ensure that we never see again. There was Christine O’Donnell, who is presumably doing buttershots in a Dave & Buster’s right now. Best of all, there was Tea Party Nation, whose unstoppable email apparatus sent me two, sometimes three emails a day.
Several of them bore the title “draft” or “test” or, once, “don’t send yet!!!!!!” Many of them advocated immediate impeachment and treason trials for high-ranking federal officials. Almost all of them expressed a forward-thinking approach to the uses of “your” and “you’re.” But the thing I’ll miss most about the deluge of Tea Party Nation emails, which has slowed to a trickle in the last couple of days, is the subject lines. Just to pick a few that have remained in my Inbox:
What is wrong with Obama and why did we lose Nevada?
Good night, sweethearts
The morning after
The birth certificate of Barack Obama
Stop the liberal axis of fiscal evil!!!
The left’s war on American citizenship
Why we must destroy liberalism
We’re not perfect!
Too black for Meet the Press?
Third party suicide
Obama surrenders America to Mexico
We know whose side the ACLU is on
So easy, a terrorist could do it
Election fraud 2010
What happened to John Edwards?
If you’re wondering, the answer is “infidelity scandal.” Also, the author of “Too black for Meet the Press?” has written a book called “Sellout: Musings from Uncle Tom’s Porch” about his life as a black ultraconservative. It seems tasteful.