It’s the busy season here at Combat! blog, and the interns who write these posts on my behalf are prohibited from doing anything fun so they have more time to work. Before we all sink into a vortex of drudgery, though, I thought I’d draw your attention to Donald Trump’s satisfyingly uncool Twitter reaction to being called “Fuckface Von Clownstick” on The Daily Show. I submit that his series of tweets—which begins by calling people who picked up the hashtag “losers” and ends in attacking Jon Stewart for changing his name—encapsulates what is wrong with Trump’s personality. Also what’s wrong with the personality of a spoiled adolescent—your brain stops developing after you become the owner of a building in Manhattan, though, so that should not surprise anyone.

I more abstractly submit that the Von Clownstick Affair captures the ideal function of comedy in society. Donald Trump is a nuisance. Over the last few years, he’s run a vanity campaign for president and perpetuated one of the more baseless, destructive rumors in American political history. It’s not illegal to tell people without evidence that the president is not constitutionally allowed to be president, but it is irresponsible. In a free society, what do you do about wealthy narcissists? Enter Stewart, whose juvenile attack on Trump is not illegal either, but merely mean. Welcome the exchange of ideas, Mr. Trump. Your money is no good here.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lon0AnPdMOQ

Look how much cooler that man is than I am. When a mugger points a shotgun at him, he takes it away and then chases after him, refusing to use his new shotgun as a weapon, whereas when I have a bunch of work to do I skip the blog. Do you see the difference? Some people are just unshakable badasses while others are self-pitying milksops, and the only difference is in how they behave and think. Also in whether they’re allowed to manage their own workflow—the point is, I wish I had just thwarted a robbery, but instead I have to type in a series of boxes other than this one. We’ll be back tomorrow with the same amount of self-pity in more words.

 

Ain’t it pretty? That’s what I left yesterday afternoon, to board a plane in Denver where we were informed—after the doors closed—that we would maybe land in Missoula and maybe Kalispell, and maybe not take off at all, but the important thing was that United would not provide us with amenities in any case. Then I arrived in Missoula to snow and, this morning, 19 degrees.  Oh, for my beloved amenities. I have to make one million deadlines today, so why don’t you read Ezra Klein’s explanation of why time is the enemy of immigration reform. We’ve gone Ezra Klein crazy around here. Also regular crazy, plus tired and maybe a sinus infection. But the important thing is that it’s really, really cold.

There is no real Combat! blog today or even tomorrow, because my friend Curt is getting married. Such an event is likely to occur only two or three times during our lifetimes, and I’m going to the bachelor party. By Monday, I will be dead. If somehow I am not, we’ll be back with more actual blog. In the meantime, how about you read Ezra Klein’s damning indictment of the Senate on the occasion of the failed gun control bill? You know you want to lose even more faith in the Senate. I’ll see you in a few days, unless I go blind.