A hipster or possibly mathematician

The Polish Hammer sent me this rad explanation of a recently published paper on the mathematical forces behind synchronized nonconformity. Contrary to Business Week, the paper does not prove that hipsters all look the same. The hipsters in mathematician Jonathan Touboul’s model look the same because he set it up as a binary: a field of othello tiles that can flip between two looks, punk and normcore. Some of the tiles are conformist—meaning they flip to adopt the same look as the majority of tiles around them—and others are hipster, meaning they flip to adopt the opposite look from the tiles around them. The Washington Post explains it better than I do, but the upshot is that when Touboul introduced a one-turn delay in information about surrounding tiles, the hipsters began to simultaneously adopt the same look in waves.

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HG Wells, who observed that “cynicism is humor in ill health”

What if corporations dumped huge amounts of money into politics not to make you vote one way or the other, but to convince you that your opinion doesn’t matter at all? They aren’t: corporations are dumb, except possibly in the areas of touch screens and browser cookies. But what if that was the effect of money if not the intent—to make you despair of your own role in American politics and, eventually, abandon it? The conspicuous spenders of post-Citizens United politics—and, in their own way, the anonymous ones—don’t need to convince you to vote for a particular candidate. They need only convince you to stay home. Money fills the politics that Americans abandon. That’s my contention in this week‘s column for the Missoula Independent, at least. We should take solace in the re-election of Montana Supreme Court Justice Mike Wheat, whose race was a study in money versus qualifications. To paraphrase Dark Helmet, good will always triumph over marketing, because marketing is dumb. We’ll see you tomorrow with more hopeful declarations not necessarily grounded in fact.

Candidate Gary Marbut (Ind–HD 94) and a gun

Missoula residents will recognize the name of local gun enthusiast Gary Marbut, who is running as an independent to represent HD 94 in the Montana State House. Last week, the Montana Commissioner of Political Practices rejected Marbut’s complaint that fliers produced by his opponent failed to properly indicate her party affiliation. Marbut alleged that the icon chosen by incumbent Democrat Kimberly Dudik “has short ears and a long tail” and therefore resembled a horse more than a donkey. That kind of willful misreading can hurt a candidate’s credibility, at least according to my column in this week’s Missoula Independent. Really it doesn’t matter, since Dudik is going to win this one in a walk. But you should get to know Gary Marbut, especially if you’ve acquired a taste for the peculiar flavor of Montana politics. You’ll see his name again.

A cute kitten takes a nap. Do not Google image search “vasectomy.” Just don’t.

You wouldn’t know it from the chipper tone of Combat! blog, but I got a vasectomy yesterday. In my life and peregrinations I have smelled many smells, but I will not soon forget the smell of my own burning vas deferens. Nor will I soon forget this pain in my nuts, which I can ease only with Advil or by imagining a child’s birthday party. There is no Combat! blog today, because I have voluntarily sterilized myself. Think of it as an investment in Combat! blogs of the future. While I search in vain for any glimmer of regret, how about you read this fascinating piece by Ben al-Fowlkes about a woman-versus-man bareknuckle fight that happened in 2007? You can watch the video, too, if you dare. I’d like to point out that Ben is a father, probably as a result of having intercourse with his wife. If only he had planned ahead. If only I had frozen peas.