Thank you, CakeWrecks.com

It’s basically Thanksgiving. I’m thankful the Indy ran my column a day early this week, leaving me free to focus on my real calling, these Black Beans with Orange. Obviously, the period of Thanksgiving commences when you start cooking the food, not when you eat the food. So happy holidays, everybody! It might as well be Christmas morning.

In the meantime, I’m also thankful Sarah Aswell wrote this heartfelt, cleanly structured essay about our comedy death pact and the Missoula open mic where we fulfilled it. She is good at writing but never has to fall back on that, because she is also good at finding interesting stories. Don’t let America fall to ISIS, or she will have to stop writing and wear a bag over her head.

I have achieved a similar result without the bag. There will be no blog tomorrow, since Thanksgiving Thursday is also a holiday, nor Friday because my boss is not a miser duck. Instead, Combat! blog will go to the hot springs with our hot girlfriend. We will take pictures, but they’re not for you. They’re for a certain class of Japanese businessmen. See you Monday!

I’ve disabled comments on new posts, in keeping with my across-the-board policy of not reading internet comments sections. I like to read comments from you, my good friend or especially intelligent reader, but the opinion of JoeInternet69 is not interesting to me. If you are excited by something you read on Combat! blog and want to talk to me about it, please email me. If you don’t know my email address, read the blog more carefully. I love you! Let’s keep living separately, though.

Donald Trump addressed supporters in Fort Dodge, Iowa for more than 90 minutes last night, during which time he promised to “bomb the shit out of” oil fields that produced revenue for ISIS and called a male supporter “baby.” Mostly, he marveled at the recent success of Ben Carson. “How stupid are the people of Iowa?” he asked, presumably rhetorically. Likening Carson’s self-advertised temper to the pathology of a child molester, he admonished the crowd, “Don’t be fools, okay?” Speaking as a voter: where was that message three months ago? Sure, now Donald Trump doesn’t want us to be fools—now that he’s not the only foolish candidate in the race. Today is Friday, and the fool vote is split. Won’t you toss a coin with me?

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Combat! blog’s New York residency comes to an end today, having proven enjoyable as always. I’m not saying I’ve been living high on the hog, but I did spend much of yesterday afternoon in the Russian and Turkish baths. I will spend today afternoon on an airplane, less relaxed but similarly confined. While I indulge the conversation of strangers, how about you read this sobering, insightful assessment of why Donald Trump could win the Republican nomination for president. We’re a little more than three months out from the Iowa primary, with a cascade of less evangelical, more Trump-dominated states to follow. What starts as comedy ends as tragedy, or at least schadenfreude. We’ll back tomorrow with a real blog from our Montana home, watched by our Montana goldfish.