Reince Priebus manifests, presents CNN/NBC with diabolic choice

By Dan Brooks in Contemporary Media 2 Comments
RNC chairman Reince Priebus in his Cave of Insanity

RNC chairman Reince Priebus in his Cave of Insanity

Making a popping sound as he displaces the air, RNC chairman and extradimensional potentate Reince Priebus had demanded that CNN and NBC Entertainment halt production on planned features about Hillary Clinton. And if they do not? One week from today, Priebus will “seek a binding vote of the RNC stating that the committee will neither partner with you in 2016 primary debates nor sanction primary debates which you sponsor.” In other words, CNN and NBC drop their respective Hillary projects or they don’t get to carry the Republican debates. And like that, before you could say Subeirp Ecnier, he disappeared.

Continue reading

Forced into bottle service, “men’s rights activist” loses lawsuit

By Dan Brooks in Contemporary Media, Uncategorized 1 Comment
Self-described antifeminist attorney Roy Den Hollander, with subpoena and unfair cheese

Self-described antifeminist attorney Roy Den Hollander, with subpoena and unfair cheese

Back in 2010, a bouncer told Manhattan attorney Roy Den Hollander he could only enter the Chelsea nightclub Amnesia if he bought a $350 bottle of vodka. At that same moment, that very same bouncer let in an attractive young woman for free. It was a clear human rights violation, mostly having to do with Hollander’s gender but also possibly his age. As he puts it, Hollander is “middle-aged.” He would not say the exact number to the New York Daily News, leading to this delightful sequence of paragraphs:

“If I’m hitting on some young girl at the club—and I won’t be hitting on an older one because they don’t look as good—if she knows how old I am I’m not going to be able to exploit her infinite capacity to delude herself into thinking I’m younger,” he said.

A search of public records revealed he’s 66 years old.

He is also a jerk, which is maybe what happens when you’re scheduled to live to 132. Props to The Angel Ben Gabriel for the link.

Continue reading

Strange days for Mr. Weiner

By Dan Brooks in Contemporary Media 1 Comment

anthony-weiner-press-conference

It is possible that the New York Times’ exhaustive coverage of Anthony Weiner’s renewed sex scandal is due to his candidacy for mayor. It’s also possible that they like constructing headlines around the phrase “Mr. Weiner.”  For those who do not know, a 22 year-old woman has told quasi-news site The Dirty that she and Mr. Weiner exchanged sexually explicit communications in the summer of 2012, not long after he resigned from Congress for doing same. According to the Times, their exchange began when the woman “reached out to express her disappointment in him.” Say what you will about Anthony Weiner; he is really good at convincing women to exchange sexually explicit messages. Also he used the pseudonym “Carlos Danger.” Also he is destroying his life.

Continue reading

Kilroy is here

By Dan Brooks in Contemporary Media 0 Comment
A saguaro cactus spray-painted by Robert Baratheon

A saguaro cactus spray-painted by Robert Baratheon

When I read this article about vandals tagging saguaro cacti in national parks, I immediately considered capital punishment. That would not be appropriate, I thought, almost entirely convinced. Vandalism makes me angry in a way that more serious crimes do not. I can totally understand why people steal things, and murder makes sense to me whenever someone, say, puts “Hotel California” on the jukebox or spray-paints over a petroglyph. But vandalism is one of the few crimes that confers almost no benefit on the person who commits it. At best, the mastermind who wrote “Nevada has cronic” over 1,000 year-old cave drawings got the memory of a fun caper. Oh yeah—and he wrote his name on something other people think is important.

Continue reading

The hands-free Whopper is not real, you guys

By Dan Brooks in Contemporary Media 2 Comments

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bd2YLgZqf3A

Brad alerted me last weekend to the existence of the hands-free Whoppper, ostensibly a product released to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Burger King in Puerto Rico. Sadly, the HFW is not real. When you know that it is not real, the commercial above looks like exactly what it is: a gentle exercise in absurdity that also provides occasion to say that word “Whopper” 78 times. It seems impossible to believe that such a product could exist. Yet the hands-free Whopper was the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning, and I was all set to write some funny (read: lazy) screed about it. Apparently, I was not alone. At all.

Continue reading