Understand the entire 2012 GOP in one Hill article

Jon Huntsman lost momentum after the Republican base realized that was just his last name.

Combat! blog endorsee and suicidally reasonable Republican Jon Huntsman has ended his campaign for the presidency, shocking no one. Okay, maybe he shocked the editorial board of the The State, the South Carolina newspaper that just endorsed him for the nomination. Everyone else was cool. Rick Perry is statistically more likely to find himself alone with Santorum and Paul, and the rapidity with which the whole field can order Chinese food will be compromised. Otherwise, it’s like hearing Foghat broke up. Huntsman wasn’t exactly a force. As the Hill puts it:

Although he came into the race with a fair amount of hype, his campaign failed to gain traction from the start. He struggled to gain momentum in the polls and fundraising. And he failed to shake off his association with the White House, given that he served as Obama’s ambassador to China.

Only in the Republican Party of 2012 would an association with the White House be considered an obstacle to the presidency. In fact, that Hill article might be a microcosm of the whole race.

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Friday links! Awesome power of belligerence edition

One of my many unfalsifiable theories is that over the last fifty years, American culture has become more belligerent. Obviously we are less violent than our Founders, who at the highest levels of government continued to murder one another for sport. America 2012 kills way fewer people than previous Americas. Yet one also suspects that in 1804, people did not walk around like this:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU0Pdtv0xJQ

Ours is a come-at-me-bro society. We’re not starting fights, per se, but we are fully prepared to fight and wearing a shirt with skulls on it. Each of us is actually kind of a badass. Movies and most children’s books have taught us that it doesn’t matter what other people think, and that leaves us free for rad behavior. This week’s link roundup is full of rad behavior, of both the coming-at-bros and getting-mounted-and-repeatedly-struck-in-the-temple-by-bros varieties. Get ready to watch Meghan McCain use words on television after the jump.

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Everything will be permitted once the new Axe comes out

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NN0-AWiv4k

Pete Jones sent me this commercial for the new Axe odor replacement product, which will apparently render meaningless all previously articulated principles of morality and real estate. Those are three jewelry stores next door to one another in the opening shot, and they’re not in the diamond district. They appear to be on Lafayette Street, but that’s not important. What’s important is that everyone understand the premise of this deodorant ad: jewelry store robbery, apparently involving machine gun fire. You can hear it for the first two seconds of the video, followed immediately by our robber emerging from a store that is definitely in the diamond district now. Since the glass windows are unbroken and there’s no blood on him, I can only assume that all six of his shots hit center mass.

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Romney Fever: Contract it!

The most interesting picture of Mitt Romney I could find

I don’t know what happened, but Rick Santorum has somehow lost the New Hampshire primary. Given his landslide tie for victory in Iowa, I am forced to conclude that some sort of irregularity or even a natural disaster prevented people in New Hampshire from voting. Perhaps it relates to these reports I’ve been getting out of New England. It seems people out there have been succumbing to a kind of mass hysteria—Romneymania, they call it—in which registered Republicans suffer a Romnomaniacal episode and, you know, give up.

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Billionaire casino owner gives Gingrich $5 million

Sheldon Adelson orders a round of healthy white babies

The Gingrich campaign is giddy like it’s new staffer day on the news that Sheldon Adelson has given them five million dollars. Of course, Adelson didn’t give it directly to Gingrich; that would violate federal campaign finance laws one thousand times in a row. The billionaire casino magnate and Chinese bribery defendant gave $5 million to the Winning Our Future Super PAC, which is of course not controlled by the Gingrich campaign in compliance with US law. As of yesterday, Winning Our Future had bought $3.4 million worth of advertising time in South Carolina. Presumably, the ads will urge each voter to read about the candidates and make a list of which leadership qualities he or she considers most important. Or they’ll call Mitt Romney a pussy.

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