Here’s the new cleanse I invented, in four easy steps:
- Do yoga four days a week and eat mostly vegetables and whole grains for several months.
- Stop all that and go to the airport Wolfgang Puck’s to eat macaroni and cheese originally prepared by Lady Bird Johnson.
- Fly on a plane to Iowa and eat as much turkey as you can in
one sittingtwo sittings. - Die.
I am currently between steps (3) and (4). Probably my cleanse will proceed as planned and finally remove all molecules from my body, but who knows? Today is Friday, and all systems are broken. Won’t you clench yourself with me?





