Trump and a hat that suggests America sucks

Donald Trump addressed the audience at the first Republican debate so arrogantly I thought Virgil was going to come stand next to him. Apparently people love that. A CNN/ORC poll conducted over the weekend found Trump leads the field with support from 24% of registered Republicans. That’s after he said “our leaders are stupid” and started selling hats. With 11 points on Jeb Bush and 16 on Scott Walker, Trump clearly means something. But what? It doesn’t matter. None of this matters. What matters is how you choose to feel about his successful campaign for president. How do you want to feel about Donald Trump? Take this quiz and find out!

How do you feel about pro wrestling?

1. It’s what America has instead of theatre and books.
2. It’s fun if you don’t take it seriously.
3. It keeps working people from realizing they’re the ones under a big boot.
4. I can tell it’s fake.

How do you feel about Kim Kardashian?

1. By continual effort, I don’t know who that is.
2. She’s a guilty pleasure.
3. She has ties to international shipping.
4. If I was rich, that’s what I’d do for my family.

How do you feel about Big Bang Theory?

1. It’s about a laugh track that tells morons when scientists are funny.
2. I watch it ironically.
3. It proves the Emmys are rigged.
4. Sheldon should kiss Penny.

How do you feel about Olive Garden?

1. It puts family restaurants out of business.
2. On my birthday, we wore wigs there and blacked out.
3. I only eat at community garden.
4. They try to fill you up on bread.

How do you feel about political correctness?

1. It’s vitally important other races feel equal to whites.
2. It’s not really a thing.
3. Asking me that is a microaggression.
4. It’s ruining Facebook.

How do you feel about Fox News?

1. It’s a propaganda machine.
2. It’s the division of Fox that produces entertainment.
3. It’s machine propaganda.
4. It’s soft on RINOs.

How do you feel about your flight being cancelled?

1. I remember when they treated you with respect.
2. Does this airport have a Chili’s Too?
3. This is why we should nationalize the airlines.
4. I like that Nancy Grace.

How do you feel about President Obama?

1. He’s a disappointment.
2. He’s a disappointment.
3. He’s a disappointment.
4. He’s very articulate.

Congratulations! You’ve finished the quiz. To find out how you want to feel about Donald Trump, total up the number value of each of your answers. If you scored:

8-13: You want to feel like Donald Trump is leading the polls because he appeals to the deep stupidity of the Republican Party. You know America is a contest between fear and laziness, and most people vote for whatever name they recognize. Hillary Clinton is going to smash this guy next November.

14-19: You want to feel like no one takes Trump seriously, because the election is 15 months away. Remember when Herman Cain was the front-runner? Eventually Trump will push it too far, and Republicans will settle on a real candidate like Jeb Bush. Hopefully, Hillary will beat that guy next November. Personally, you like Bernie Sanders, but we have to be realistic.

20-25: You want to feel like Trump is running as a spoiler candidate for Hillary. First he exposes the deep ugliness of the Republican Party while capturing a quarter of their voters. Then he loses the nomination to Scott Walker and runs as an independent, siphoning votes form the right and basically handing her the presidency. Looks at how many times he’s donated to her. Look at how she used the state department to direct money to her foundation. Look at the banks! Bernie in 2016.

26-32: You want to believe Trump is winning because he tells it like it is. America really could be great again, if we could get rid of all these immigrants. Trump’s not a Washington insider, and he knows how to build a successful business. Government is just like a business, only if your business goes bankrupt, you don’t get to borrow a trillion dollars every year. You and my mother are thinking of buying a rental property.

33+: Congratulations! You know people love Donald Trump because he’s smart. If you scored 33 points or more, you are definitely going to be happy when he becomes president of the United States.

Combat! blog is free. Why not share it?