Forced into bottle service, “men’s rights activist” loses lawsuit

Self-described antifeminist attorney Roy Den Hollander, with subpoena and unfair cheese

Self-described antifeminist attorney Roy Den Hollander, with subpoena and unfair cheese

Back in 2010, a bouncer told Manhattan attorney Roy Den Hollander he could only enter the Chelsea nightclub Amnesia if he bought a $350 bottle of vodka. At that same moment, that very same bouncer let in an attractive young woman for free. It was a clear human rights violation, mostly having to do with Hollander’s gender but also possibly his age. As he puts it, Hollander is “middle-aged.” He would not say the exact number to the New York Daily News, leading to this delightful sequence of paragraphs:

“If I’m hitting on some young girl at the club—and I won’t be hitting on an older one because they don’t look as good—if she knows how old I am I’m not going to be able to exploit her infinite capacity to delude herself into thinking I’m younger,” he said.

A search of public records revealed he’s 66 years old.

He is also a jerk, which is maybe what happens when you’re scheduled to live to 132. Props to The Angel Ben Gabriel for the link.

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Friday links! Unexpected results edition

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_MJM_V82T8

Everything makes sense in retrospect, which instills the false confidence that the world is an ordered place. Consumed in real time, however, life is unpredictable and curling irons are suddenly, inexplicably hot. The distinguishing feature of human experience is incoherence, because what are we distinguishing it from? Fiction, the realm of ideas, religious narratives, rocks—all the things human experience isn’t make perfect sense to us, for the simple reason that they are products of our understanding. Life is the part we understand backwards, and so it surprises us anew. Today is Friday, and all manner of unexpected stuff has happened. Won’t you say you knew it all along with me?

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In which I blame the Rainbow Gathering for sabotaging the Griz

Deposed UM athletic director Jim O'Day

Deposed UM athletic director Jim O’Day

Those not fortunate enough to live in Missoula may be unaware that the NCAA handed down a raft of sanctions to the Montana Grizzlies last week, finding that boosters improperly provided players with meals, transportation, laundry services and free legal services. That last one was the most valuable. Griz players get accused of crimes a lot. They get arrested nearly as often—slightly more than they get acquitted. Missoulians love the Griz, mostly in a good way but sometimes like Lenny from Of Mice and Men. It therefore stands to reason that they could not possibly be at fault in the recent NCAA fiasco, and I blame it on the Rainbow Gathering instead. Nothing is sacred to those filthy hippies. We’ll be back tomorrow with Friday links.

Friday links! Freedom is a choice edition

Russians exercise their right to Bully Face.

Russians exercise their right to Bully Face.

Here’s how they do in Moscow: Vladimir Putin puts his enemy in jail, Russians riot, and Putin lets him out again. Meanwhile, in the country that invented freedom, we can’t get into the streets for a universal domestic wiretap. It’s summer, people. Where’s the raucous spirit of American liberty that I am told could not be contained when the people who tell me that were young? Whither the groovy protest summer of ’13? Freedom is a choice, and if you expect to be free by going along with stuff you’re doing it wrong. Today is Friday. The world is full of people who do not personally care if you spend the next 12 years in a secret prison. Won’t you basically do that to yourself via the computer with me?

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And now, to anger everyone

UM quarterback Jordan Johnson, pre-acquittal

UM quarterback Jordan Johnson, pre-acquittal

It’s Thursday, which means it is once again time to show the good people of Missoula how much I like them by making them hate me. I presume that this column about Jordan Johnson’s Best Athlete award in the Missoula Independent will alienate both Griz fans and Indy readers. My only hope is that the mob will also destroy Pizza Hut on the way to my house. If you don’t live in Missoula and cannot compass why this is a big deal, you can read about the Department of Justice’s settlement with the Missoula police department and UM here. Investigation of the county attorney’s office is ongoing, possibly because MCA Fred Van Valkenberg has refused to cooperate with the DOJ. People have strong opinions about this issue. As of press time, however, my review of Yeezus and Magna Carta Holy Grail has received the most irate comments. O, general public.