Just Sayin’ Stuff with Chuck Grassley

Senator Charles Grassley (R–IA,) who looks like if you aged a high school debate captain by preserving his face and shrinking his skeleton.

Remember back in 2009, when the commentariat explained Chuck Grassley’s virulent attacks on health care reform and the Panel to Evaluate the Life of Grandma by saying that he was going to retire soon? It turns out that, like golf, dicketry is a lifetime hobby. Speaking to Radio Iowa yesterday, Grassley called for a review of the White House investigation of the purchase rental of Colombian prostitutes by the Secret Service. Obviously, prostitutes mean scandal and Secret Service means Obama; therefore, Secret Service prostitues mean Obama scandal. You think that I’m simplifying his reasoning, here, but Grassley’s argument is not measurably more specific. Quote:

The issue here isn’t just people messing around with prostitutes, the issue is the security of the President of the United States and the issue is any national security implications that it might have because of the secrecy and the documents and things of that nature.

Chuck Grassley: just sayin’ stuff.

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Congress outlaws protest near Secret Service-protected

Rick Santorum and his imaginary friend, God

The difference between the US President and a king, as any red-blooded American knows, is that you can tell the king of America to fuck himself. He probably won’t do it, but it’s nice to be able to make the recommendation. Living in the United States got a little less nice last week, when the House of Representatives approved HR 347—a bill that The Hill specifically describes as “non-controversial.” The Hill is like the guy at the poker table who looks at his cards, shakes his head, sighs and then calls three hundred dollars. In addition to “clarify[ing] in US law that it is illegal to trespass on White House grounds,” the full text of the HR 347 contains the follwing:

(1) the term ‘restricted buildings or grounds’ means any posted, cordoned off, or otherwise restricted area—

(A) of the White House or its grounds, or the Vice President’s official residence or its grounds

(B) of a building or grounds where the President or other person protected by the Secret Service is or will be temporarily visiting; or

(C) of a building or grounds so restricted in conjunction with an event designated as a special event of national significance;

It is now a felony to glitterbomb Rick Santorum.

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